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Help?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by unouxx3me, Jul 31, 2008.

  1. unouxx3me

    unouxx3me Guest

    My parents got into a discussion about people who are gay and have on previous occasions gone on about how disgusting it was for a girl to be with another girl. They said they would disown us, and we wouldn't belong to them any longer. We'd be out on our own...On this occasion though, they were discussing which kid of theirs (they have 4 girls) would be gay. At this time, they went on about how it was okay and they'd love their child just the same if they happened to be a lesbian. They think my little sister would be the only one of us to "experiment", she is too boy crazed though...and I know she is straight. I had brought up the situation of my friend coming out and how proud I was of him which is what got this conversation started. They do not know that I have dated more than one girls, and think that I like them. I wanted to tell them that I like girls...(I don't know if I am just bi, or if I am a lesbian...or what, I'm still questioning), but I didn't believe their "Oh we'll love you just the same". I'd never be allowed out of the house if they knew I liked girls (their words, not mine). I want them to know though...since my mother and I have gotten closer after I let her in on my empathic powers (no joke). How do I get her to actually love me knowing I am not the straight kid she thought. It isn't fair to me to have to live in secret...:help:
     
  2. Mind Freak

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    Aw. Well that sucks but you've only got 2 years left!
    And you can be free.

    Maybe you could tell your mom and say you're still the same person?
     
  3. Nanzuniko

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    Try the "they're born that way" thing!

    And that God loves everyone and He wouldn't have created them that way if He didn't want them to be. If your parents are religious, of course.

    Empathic powers are fun to use =D
     
    #3 Nanzuniko, Jul 31, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2008
  4. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! Based on what you have said it seems to me that your parents could accept you for who are, although it might take them a while to come around to it, given their previous comments and views about homosexuality. Never underestimate parents' love for their children. Given that you have mixed signals as it were, it might be a good idea if you keep talking to them about subjects related to homosexuality. Once in a while bring something about your friend who has come out into a conversation. Another good way would be to mention something you have read or heard about homosexuality.

    Having said this, I think it might be better to hold off telling your parents at this stage. Given that you are still questioning your sexual identity, I think it would be good if you figure out your feelings first, before coming out to your parents. Take one step at a time and take your time. Having come out to yourself first and having figured out your feelings will allow you to be more confident about yourself when you do talk to them, which is important. Remember that coming out to parents is one of the hardest things. Take your time, don't rush into it. Make sure that you are ready for that step.

    When you do decide to come out to your parents, try to talk to your mom perhaps first. Try to reassure her that you haven't changed and that you are still the same person. I'm sure she will still love you. Also, before you talk to her, print out some PFLAG material for your parents. If you are not sure what to print out or what would be best, pm Becky, and I'm sure she will sent you some material as well.

    I hope this helps!
     
    #4 Mirko, Jul 31, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2008
  5. hairdye

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    sometimes parents talk about opposing homosexuality in front of their children,
    when they suspect there child is, hoping there child will defend it and maybe burst out with, "WELL I'M GAY!"

    thats what my mom did. ;x
    and when i told her she laughed and told me she knew since i was 3.
    she told me thats why she acted like she hated it.
    it's not a good way of going about it, but during this time, parents don't really know how to approach the subject.