So, I've come out to my parents and it went really well. I have two brothers, but I haven't told them yet. I know my eldest brother will be cool with it because he has several gay friends, but my other brother might be a problem. I was watching doctor who yesterday and in the episode there was Jack Harkness, who, if you didn't know, is pretty gay (or pansexual maybe?). He went off asking a lot of questions and making quite a few rude comments. Also, the other day when we were in town, there was a transgender woman working in the shop we were in. She was really nice and helpful, but every time she talked, he started laughing and didn't even bothering trying to hide it. We've never really got along that well and we're not as close as we once were. So, the question is, what should I do? Should I just not come out to him at all and surprise him when I start dating a woman? Should I talk to him about why his attitude is offensive? I'm just not really sure what to do... Thanks.
Its a difficult one.. It would be interesting to know what lies at the root of the views. It could well be that its something to say. As you say your parents know, perhaps its worth asking them for advice on what they think too. As you are out to them and they happen to know your brothers too, it could be helpful to you?
Hi there! It might be worthwhile to come out to your eldest brother first, and maybe ask him as well as your parents for some extra support (if you feel you need it). I do think that talking with him about the offensiveness of his statements/actions would be worthwhile, given that the two of you were close at some point, and it is clearly bothering you. The next time you hear him say something offensive (and if you feel comfortable with it), you could try asking him as to why he is making these sorts of statements. It has happened that once a family member realized that another family member is LGBTQ, that they have started changing their views and/or have become more reflective on what they are saying, and the messages that they are sending.
My family there is a clear generational disparity - almost. My mums side absolutely dandy about it, my dads side (and him and not completely my mum) not so great. My siblings literally couldn't give a flying sausage.
