I'll try to keep this short as it is my first post, but here is my story. I would appreciate any advice that anyone has. I have always had thoughts in the back of my mind that there is something a little different about me. I have had feelings that I could not explain, and impulses at certain times that I could not explain. At times I would be with another man, and feel a strong desire that I would immediately try to quash, feeling ashamed in the process. I went through college, law school, and an engagement that didn't work out trying to avoid them. I tried to tell myself it was a phase, or I was just confused, but it really just made me miserable. Recently, I began dating a woman that is absolutely amazing for me in every way. On our second date, she came out to me as bisexual. She has not told many people, so it was a large leap for her, and immediately created a more trusting environment between us. After spending more and more time together, and becoming more comfortable with who I am around her, we began to finally address those feelings that I know I have always had, which culminated in finally accepting that I am a bisexual man literally in the last month. Even though she was amazing to me in every way throughout what was an incredibly difficult process, it was extremely hard to finally say the words to her, and to say them out loud to myself. While it was extremely liberating in many ways, it has also terrified me in others. I do not know where to go from here. I am scared what my family will think of it if I come out to them, my father in particular is largely homophobic and it has caused a lot of issues for me over the years, but it is even worse now. Also, I am worried about my job. I am a defense attorney in a small, rural county where I believe my work life would be negatively impacted if people found out about this side of me. I know these are similar struggles that many of you have gone through, but any advice would be appreciated. (I also just want to say thanks in advance to everyone on this site. Even though there is not much here, this was pretty hard for me to write down, and I do not think I would have been able to do so without seeing how supportive of a community this is.)
Welcome to EC mate! ^_^ I'm glad your girlfriend's supportive. This may be a weird question (seeing as you've made this topic) but do you feel like you want to come out to more people? I know a lot of bisexual men who're dating a girl that don't feel inclined to come out, but I also understand the urge to tell people about your feelings. If you feel inclined to tell more people, you just need to be mindful of who you tell. Don't tell folks at work if you think it could harm you. Just tell friends who you trust.
It sort of sounds like you two are "made for each other" if you can be satisfied living a hetero life with her. If you want to also have sexual relations with men, things are going to be a lot more complicated for both of you if you get married. It is also worth noting that many men who start off thinking they are bisexual realize later that they are more gay than bisexual; this can be a major problem if the two of you get married and have children. Journey over to the LGBT Later in Life section for some examples.
