Would a coffee house where bi and gay guys go be a good place to meet guys that are bi or gay? I would think so because it would be kind of quiet and a bar or night club would be too loud to talk to a guy and try to understand what he was saying.
It sounds like a good place to try. Obviously a lot of people there will be in couples or groups, but there should be some singles there too. Go for it - you have nothing to lose! I also have nightclubs. i can never hear what people are saying, and the whole atmosphere is more frantic than a chat in a coffee shop.
A coffee shop huh? (...taking memo) But I think they are not all gay or bi...or is the coffee shop you talking about is a rendezvous for gay people or something?? Nightclub was fun!! I love dancing with people...though I was almost left behind there by my friends...Because I couldn't hear they're saying let's get out by music. Oh, just wanted clear I went there just once and my friends TOOK me to there:eusa_shhh
If you don't have an immediate attraction to bars/night clubs then yeah, I would say try the coffee house. Can't hurt. It's a lot easier to go to a bar/club the first few times with friends, I always found. That way you have backup. *grin* A lot of people I know use the Internet these days to meet guys. Not really my thing but I can see why people like it. Other good places are glbtq youth groups (depending on their age limits) or glbtq activity groups (sports groups, square dancing groups, bingo nights, etc.... there are usually tons in any semi-major city).
I've tried the internet - although most sites are pretty 'single minded' if you know what I mean. I've had some good luck recently connecting with other guys in the Toronto area that are in a similar situation to me by posting a 'strictly platonic' ad on CraigsList. So that can work - but you do have to be careful of people's motives... I don't think I have enough self confidence to 'pick guys up' in a coffee house or bar or anything - but I've never tried... Maybe with the new wheels (see pic) I'll have some interest!
I have gone to a gay night club a few times by myself. Of course I rather go to a gay night club or bar with friends, but none of my friends are gay and they won't go to a gay night club or bar. If I knew someone or had a friend that was gay or bi, it would be more fun to go with them.
Yes, that's kinda a catch-22. Hopefully you can meet some people elsewhere and then go with them. If you go by yourself (and want to meet people) you just have to be really brave and pretty much throw yourself into social situations (which is different from throwing yourself AT people, please note *grin*). I suppose I would look for the other people who are also there either alone or with only one or two other people and try talking to them. But you should get your friends to go with you! I assume you go clubbing and to bars with them, right? So they should be returning the favour or what kind of friends are they?
Yes I think most of the "meet up" sites for the gay community can be single-minded but the people on the other end of the computer aren't necessarily quite so much so. You just have to be selective and be really clear what you want/don't want with the other person and then (probably the most important part) stick to your guns about it with yourself. As for "picking guys up" you'd be amazed how easy that is if you have the two requisite conditions: you're interested in them and they're interested in you. After that it's just a matter of telling yourself to go for it--and then letting yourself do so. Not, of course, that that's everyone's thing--but it can be pretty hot at times. :icon_twis (we need a better sexy hot yet evil smiley) I picked up this guy at a coffee shop in New York when I was visiting once... it was funny because it was totally a pick-up joint but the reason I liked him was that he completely did NOT fit in there... he was reading Kafka and I think everyone else was busy checking out everyone else's package. :icon_bigg And he was so cute and shy... and that's how I got to have gay sex in the co-ed Columbia dorm showers.
Wow! That story is super hot! Was it a gay coffee shop where you met the guy? What did you first say to him when you walked up to him?
When I was in high school one of my guy friends I think was gay or bi, but I wasn't 100% sure. He acted gay and sometimes I saw him checking me out. I loved his smile. His name was Chris and he was so hot. Unfortunately, we didn't stay in touch. As for my other friends, they are not into going to clubs and bars. Believe it or not.
i tend to go to bars alot i have meet alot of guys at school i joined glbtau never thought about a coffee shop have to remember that one
Other friends: oh I believe it. It's not for everyone. guy friend in high school: awwww... that really sucks you lost touch. You should try to track him down via friends!
Yeah, it was about the gayest coffee shop in the US, Big Cup in Chelsea. What I first say to him? I have no clue... probably something about how he didn't seem to fit in. But in a complimentary way, like something about him looking a little too deep to be in so shallow a place. Stating the generally unstated obvious can get you way further than you would think. But you thought that was hot? Gosh I didn't even get into the time I got followed off a bus by a hot guy, or the SF Muni, or... or... :icon_twis
I have moved the stuff about your new car to a separate thread here http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1390
