I finally came out to my dad and step mom.They said they don't condemn it or condone it, but I feel a bit of distance between us. I am a little sad from this. I came out to two of my step sisters as well. My step sister Heidi reacted well. She loved me for who I am and didn't think of me as any less. My grandma was perfectly fine with it, and was happy that I finally discovered myself. My aunt and uncle were happy that I was happy with myself. And that they are totally okay with me being gay. My sisters were totally chill with it. They are my closest straight allies in my life. However, not all of it was good. I told my step sister Maia that I was a lesbian. She didn't want any of it. It went like this: Maia: hello? MAds (Me): hi, do you have a minute? Maia: yeah, whats up honey? MAds: I have some thing important to tell you. Maia: and what would that be? Mads: After hiding it for 14 years, Maia, I finally accept the fact I am a lesbian. Maia: No you're not. MAds: yes, I am. Maia: No, No little sister of mine is going to fall for this. Mads: what? MAia: You're too beautiful and too smart to be a lesbian. Mads: But I am! MAia: I will not let you get subjected to this label. You haven't been reading your bible. Mads: yes I have. I accepted who God made me. Maia: no, you are choosing to go against the will of God. MAds: But God made me gay. And since when did you choose to be straight? Maia: you're talking to the wrong person. Stop this right now MAds: but *I was crying by now, kinda loudly* God helped me accept who I am. MAia: No. You must turn now. you will suffer. And stop with the attitude Mads: but I'm hurt. Maia: This is tough love. I still love you, but you are not going to be gay. Mads: Do you expect me to fake it my whole life with a man? Maia: just don't be in a relationship. Just be single. MAds: I can't do that! God created me to be lesbian! MAia: *She's screaming by now* now you listen, I don't care what it is, you are going to suffer. Listen to me! You are- Mads: *hangs up* I've been hurt from that experience for a bit now, and its haunting me. I'm working on forgiving her. I haven't talked to her ever since I came out. For now, I am a bit hurt and some times get really down. But God helps me through it. I just really need some help with getting back up and reconciliation with my parents. It kinda hurts sometimes. Sometimes I want to cry but can't. I want to talk to the counselors at church but they will try to change me. I just want some help. I don't like this pain that being different gives me. All help is appreciated.:help:
Well that conversation went less than poorly. Sorry ---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 06:34 PM ---------- Also, I would suggest avoiding the church councilors if you think that will end poorly. Jut look for a lgbt support group in your area or something
I am really sorry that your sister reacted that way. I don't really know what to say for advice, but maybe give it time. Sometimes people forget the whole loving and forgiving thing. I am not religious myself, but I come from an area where a lot of people are. It is hard when people take the bible word for word instead of contemplating the meaning deeply and thinking about it carefully. It is easy to follow what other people say instead of thinking carefully on it yourself when scared of things that are outside of your comfort zone as well. Try to have some compassion for her even if she is not accepting. It must be hard being that afraid of difference.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. (*hug*) I know the advice "just give it time" doesn't really help, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. She will need time to process the information, and will hopefully come to terms with it. Again, I'm so very sorry you are having to deal with that.
Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that with your step sister ((hugs)) I hope that she will come around eventually... especially after talking to the rest of your family. Maybe you can get one of your other sisters to talk to her? I can only imagine how painful that conversation must have been. It was hard for ME to read, and I wasn't even there...
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but you know she is wrong. All the talk about not being in tune with The Bible is just utter drivel and not worth paying any attention to. Most people I came out to were supportive, but I've also had my share of negativity to deal with. So be it! In the end, I know it is not a choice I made to be gay, but just part of who I am. Same for you. Overall, you've had a pretty decent reaction from people. I don't think we can expect our parents to be ecstatic when we first tell them, even if they are really tolerant people. Rightly or wrongly, most parents hope to be grandparents too one day and see their kids as part of the traditional family unit. Being gay kind of flies in the face of that and it takes a bit of processing time for most parents. If the Church counsellors will attempt to change you I would avoid talking to them. Change is not possible and it will be an exercise in futility for you and them. Take comfort from the positive people around you. You've done great!
