Well, ever since I finished high school this last June, there's been some problems with my friends. I'm not talking about arguing or anything, but more like "drifting" or losing contact. Before school ended, my group or friends and I kept telling each other that this summer was going to be really fun due to the fact that we would be doing so many things together before we all went away to college. Sounds fun right? Well, the problem is that it has rarely happened. Actually, it hasn't even been what we planned. I'm only in constant contact with 4 people. The rest say they're busy with work. But I'm sure that work can't take up 100% of their lives, especially since it's nothing professional (nannying, being a waiter, and working in a YMCA gym). I'm not trying to sound ignorant at all. When I contact them through facebook (the ones I'm having drifting problems with), they rarely answer/don't answer at all! I feel like a fool because I just keep trying to contact them and they don't really show that much interest. Yet I know that they are doing something because I see it in their mini feed. Are they ignoring my wall posts? It's really sad because I feel that I'm going to lose them and then I'll feel even sadder. I know I'll most likely make new friends in college...but I have trouble letting go of people I've been friends with in high school. I sometimes feel like I'm going to lose them all. Do you guys have any advice? I'm sort of depressed right now. Any help would be greatly appreciated!!
I went through the same thing when I finished high school. I had a really hard time not being with them as often. But we all went off to different schools. Its a part of growing up and moving on I guess. Just keep trying to stay in contact with them. Im still friends with my high school friends I just dont get to see them nearly as much. You are gonna be going off to school and making tons of new friends. I know its hard right now but its gonna get better.
Work really does pick up over the summer for people would have a job when finishing high school at most places. When I finished high school my work hours shot up over 2 times what they use to be. (I'm not saying it a bad thing for me because I got a raise and more hours.) Work also makes people tired and not want to do much afterwards (depending were you work). Even though I've been working crazy hours and been tired though I do make some effort to hang out although I don't try has hard as my other friends to hang out. An idea to help (I don't know if you've tried this yet) is to plan something a ways ahead of time so they can work a little bit with their work hours to get time to hang out. That's what my groups a friends do a lot.
Hi there! It's a shame that your friends are not responding to you through facebook when you contact them. Have you tried calling them or e-mailing them or texting? From the sounds of it you have tried to contact them, and if they don't respond right away give it a couple of days. When you do decide to contact them again keep it brief and just say for example "hi, haven't talked in a while, what are you up to..." and see what they say. The ball is in their court then. Sometimes, we forget to respond to something (say an e-mail or a message) because other things have taken over and we just forgot about it then. When they do respond see if they would have time for something that is planned a bit ahead of time. Often we make plans (a lot of plans) for our holidays that just don't happen because we are busy with other things and priorities shift and there's nothing we can do about it. Try not to be too disappointed when things don't work out. Maybe try telling yourself "oh well, it didn't happen this time, but maybe next time." But do treasure and make the most of the moments that you do spend with your friends. I am sure you will not lose all of your friends. But as life goes on we are bound to lose some friends as contact becomes more infrequent and we change. Sometimes we ourselves 'forget' to contact friends because we are busy with other things. However, there are friendships that can last very long and usually these are the best ones. Are some of your friends attending the same college as you are? If you feel that your friends keep ignoring you and giving you indications that they don't want to do things with you, then (and as hard as it might be) you might have to re-evaluate your friendship with them. True friends will maintain contact with you and will make efforts to meet and spend time with you. If you do come to that point where you feel that you might have to re-evaluate your friendship, try to see it from the perspective of that it is a loss for them rather than for you. And, yes, you will make new friends at college. Guaranteed! And you know what (and from my experience) these friendships are a lot stronger and better and are lasting. Hope this helps!
Thank you so much for the advice (all of you!). I will exercise some of the things mentioned. I just find it really hard because most of these people have proved to be really good and genuine friends...but I just don't understand what is happening now. I'm sure the ignoring is probably unintentional...but I can't help the feeling of sadness. I do hope things get better. With the planning: we did try and plan a few things. Only 2 of them happened, which is good. But I think that even if we plan things that are far into the month, they will come up with a reason they can't go. Only 1 of those friends is going to college with me. The thing is that she has different friends since she's really outgoing and life of the party person, whereas I am not. She said she would introduce me to some of her friends, but they'll be her type. I guess that's better than nothing. We'll see what happens. Thanks for the advice, once again!!
