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Not sure how to handle this one...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by nyxe, Apr 30, 2014.

  1. nyxe

    Regular Member

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    Just to start off, I find it pretty funny that I can (usually) give advice to people and can never handle my own problems... whoops.

    Anyways, on to my situation. I've figured out that I'm at least bi, could be panromantic, although I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm at least sure of myself being attracted to both genders.

    I've been telling my close friends, and they're all awesome with it. Most of my friends are some part of the LGBT community as it is XD. There's a few friends that I'm still trying to figure out how to come out to, mostly because its not that I don't think they'll shun me or anything, but just that they might be uncomfortable with it. I like to try and test the waters out a bit first before deciding whether or not its a good idea to tell them, if you know what I mean.

    Honestly, I haven't necessarily felt like I needed to tell my parents. But it would be nice to. While I was questioning for awhile, I tried to figure out their opinions on gay people. I knew my stepmom wouldn't care; she has a few gay friends and she's totally fine with my gay friends. My mom is one of those people who thinks that no one cares about it. So. No big deal there. But then there's my dad. He isn't homophobic by any means, but he's one of those pick-a-team people. I figured this out when I mentioned that I had a bisexual friend and he replied with "You know what we called bi people when I was a teen? Greedy." Ugh. That's probably the main reason I haven't.

    And then there was last night. I had just spent the night at a friend's house, who was trans to male, for his birthday. There were a number of other people there, and I had a lot of fun. But then when I was in the car with my stepmother, she started talking to me about it. Basically, she said that while she respected their gender identities, and had nothing against them, if they wanted to be considered male, then I wouldn't be having sleepovers at their house. That annoyed me, especially because I know these friends and trust them with my life. (That, and none of us have any desire to have sex with each other. C'mon, guys.):bang:

    And then, she also mentioned that no one is really sure of their sexuality until they're older. This made me uncomfortable, because I'm pretty dang sure I'm not going to be straight. And thus, I didn't tell her about my feelings of bisexuality.

    So, not sure what to do, really. Any advice would be appreciated :slight_smile:

    Also, its not that I'm uncomfortable with being bisexual/possibly panromantic. I'm totally fine with it. I'm just not exactly sure how to deal with possible weird reactions.

    Thank you!(*hug*)
     
  2. Perfection

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    My advice is all from observations:

    Since none of your parents are homophobic as you mentioned, they will most likely accept you if you come out to them. They might even go so far as to apologize for those comments that annoy you, maybe not though. I believe that they will accept you even if your dad might say that stuff about bi's and if your stepmom does not think that you can be sure so early. That's my personal opinion.

    To your other point about you being annoyed about your stepmom not wanting you to sleepover at your FtM friend's house. I can understand where she is coming from on this if it is a group of girls and that one male friend. If the group is a mix of genders, then I think that she should not have said that. But, if he is the only male, then she is probably just trying to protect you. If you explain that there will never be and have never been any sexual anything at these sleepovers, then she might understand better. However, I just think that she is being protective because she loves you!

    And, I feel the same way. I always give advice, but I always need it as well!
     
  3. nyxe

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    I do get where she's coming from, to be honest, its just a bit frustrating. There were actually a couple other FtM friends as well, and then some girls.

    And thanks for your advice on my parents. At some point, I probably will come out to them. I think was easier for doing it to my friends because they were pretty sure I was super queer:lol: