I want to come out to a cousin but I have trust issues/complicated family

Hi, I'm new here, trans and bi, really wanting to come out to a cousin but...I have a complicated relationship with my parents. It's dysfunctional and enmeshed, which has effected my relationships with my extended family. When I started setting boundaries with my parents, they persistently violated them. They would try and get info from my cousins, Carey and Michael. (Using fake names here, Michael and Carey aren't siblings either) I'd been closer with Mike and Carey because Carey lived a few hours from me and mike would come to my state for work. (Rest of the family are states away)

Anyways, some contact info I'd shared only with them had made it back to my parents, so either one of them shared it with my parents or my parents were calling my cell provider for my contact info. And mikes brother suspected I was gay, gossiped to mike and aunt, and I suspect my aunt went back to my parents. And after being confronted by my parents I came out as trans/bi way before I was ready. My parents were supportive but in a very engulfing/co-dependent way, eventually it all was too much and I cut contact.

Fast forward a year...


I want to reach out to Mike. because:

I'm lonely
I miss him, I miss having familial support, I miss his daughter and wife
I have a silly fantasy of us getting together

Why I'm hesitant:
Im fearful to trust. I fear he will pass along information about me to my parents, or my parents will pressure him for info. He will share things I wouldn't share with my parents.
I feel shameful for cutting contact with my parents. I fear he won't understand it, most people don't. I don't regret it but feel like the black sheep.
I don't want a relationship with anyone else in the family right now, but they seem to be like Kramer, any second ready to burst through the door.
And...well, how will he digest that I'm trans? Does he know already? it's been over a year since I told my parents and confidentiality doesn't seem to be their strong suit.


Gaaah, my head turns in knots thinking about all this. It's depressing. I don't know if I should approach him, how to approach him, what to say, and how to protect myself from my parents tentacles. I just want to come out to him, to be family with him. But all these other clowns seem to be along for the ride. Eh, F*** it.