Coming out by letter - how?

Hand her the letter when she has free time to actually read it. In it include some basic information: your orientation, yes you're sure, no it's not a phase, and tell her where to find more information (PFLAG). Give her some time to think through the information, and talk to her as soon as you can after she reads it. Just make sure you're ready when you hand it to her, and make sure you talk to her thoroughly about it afterward.

 

Let the words just flow from you if it comes completely from the heart it should be easy. I gave my mom an 8 page coming out letter and while she read the whole thing I didn't actually reveal my sexuality til the end and she told me that she was worried the whole time she was reading it thinking some really bad things until it was actually revealed so I don't suggest making it long, short and heartfelt is the way to go.

Make sure that she knows that you love her and that you want to tell her something because you want to be honest with her and you want to be able to share a part of you that you have been hiding..... something like this, like I said from the heart it should be the easy part the hard part being actually giving it to her.

Now about the time, I agree with you about not giving it to her in the morning. How about in the evening when she has had a chance to settle down after work just go up to her and give it to her and either sit there while she reads it or go to your room and wait for her to come to you. Either way after you write the letter you will know when the time is right.

I am sure everything will be fine like you said her own sister is gay and she is supportive so don't be worried about it just grit your teeth and do it and you will feel a lot better afterward.

Good luck! Don't forget to tell us how it went.

Sam

 

I also came out to my parents by letter, so, one thing to say, is make sure (if you leave it somewhere for her) that it's in a place where she'll FIND it! Hahaha..silly, but important.

I agree with everyone who has said "write from the heart." That will be the most touching part about it.

If you make the letter, I think you will know when you want to give it. And, your mom sounds very supportive of your aunt, so I thinkit will go well.

I know I just kinda repeated what other said, but mostly I want to say, "good luck!!!!!!", and be sure to update us after the fact!

 

An idea for a time to give the letter if you are wondering -
If you spend the whole day or night over at a friends house - those are good times to leave it were she will find it in the house as she will most like be find it in free time and get to think it over while you are out.

Anyways - Best of luck

 

I suggest short and sweet. I came out to my sister in a one paragraph letter. I kep the tone serious but still a bit light-hearted so it wouldn't seem too devestating and I drew a big happy face with his arms extending out for a hug. LOL She eventually understood and 2 years later, it's all good. :icon_wink

 

It's easy to get overconcerned about what to say, how to say it, and when to hand it to her. But try not to get hung up about it. The key thing is to get it done.

There IS no right time to tell her. There's always a good excuse why you can't give it to her now - she's on her way to work, she just got home from work, it'll ruin her weekend, she's in a good mood, she's in a bad mood. Other than some really obvious times - don't hand it to her during a wedding or a funeral, say - anytime will be fine.

I'd also favor keeping it short and sweet. Make it matter-of-fact. Don't make it sound like you're "confessing". Try to adopt a tone of acceptance. "I've come to the conclusion that I'm gay, and I'd like to start letting people know this. Since you're such an important part of my life, I think you need to be one of the first people I tell." Let her know you love her, and you'll answer any questions she might have.

If at all possible, hand her the letter in person. And stay there while she reads it. I know how hard that might be, but it'll show both how strongly you feel about it, and how much you care about her.

Lex

 

I agree completely with Lexington's points, but I want to stress that, in my opinion, the letter should be handed to to her in PERSON while you both have free time. As for staying in the room, I think that's more personal choice if you're doing it to give her privacy rather than to hide, but you should stay in the house where you'll be able to discuss it when you've finished.

 

The only thing that I can add is that that you head off your mothers potential fears in the letter. Nip them in the bud. For instance if you are still a virgin, tell her so. Tell her that when you do make the decision to have sex that you will use utmost caution and protection. Let her know if you want to have kids some day. That kind of stuff. Good luck!

 

i am going to say, like everyone else has, to write if from the heart. tell her what you feel, without a lot of agnst, because that may freak he out a bit (trust me, it does). you do want to make it short (-ish) and sweet. remind her that you love her. anytime except for the morning would be good, but i would think - depending on your familys way of running - after dinner would be the best. that way she can be focused at work, and have time to talk with you about it afterwards.

good luck! and keep us updated please.

(very good idea, by the way. do you mind if i borrow it? )

 

I agree with Becky..be yourself, she probably understands a great deal about LGBT issues....add some PFLAG stuff and tell her/ others how much you love them.