Wow! It feels good to be back! Back in a city! Back on ec! Even if it is just for the weekend. Come Sunday I will clear my browsing history of all things gay. Change the shuffel of photo's on my desktop background back to something that does not screem I love that girl and miss her like hell. And slip back into the closet. I am living in a hostel. With a roommate, who comes from a less than foward thinking comunity. She's nice enough and we get along fine, but she'll probably flip if she finds out. And I need my place in the hostel, it is the cheapest living arrangement around campus. Guess I'm just a touch lonely with all the people who knows far away. I've made new friends and all, but I don't know. I just not happy with where I am. The part of me that is allowed to live in the hostel is extremely happy. I've been drawing again and I am on various teams and commities in the hostel, my marks are ok and I have a resonable social life. But that's not all that I am! I am gay!! And I miss being open about it. Describing a girl as cute. Telling friends that I don't look for anything in a guy! How do survive the next two and a half years? Do I dare to come out? I've always said that when the right girl comes around I'll face anything for her, but shouldn't I be willing to face it for myself? Or should I think logically about my future?
Personally, I think you should find a place to live where people will accept you for who you are. Getting out of the closet can be hard enough, but having to go back in again? I don't know what you would do then. But you don't deserve to have to be stuck back trying to hide yourself from others. That isn't fair to you.