This is gonna be long - sorry. Just there's quite a bit behind what I'm trying to work out.... I had my first girlfriend about 3 years ago now, we went out for a year but for the first few months no one apart from a friend knew. When I eventually decided it was time to tell my parents, I didn't exactly do it very well. I planned to tell them over dinner, but kept chickening out. When we'd finished eating I decided I needed to just tell them and get it over with instead of worrying about it. So I quickly finished my drink and said "you know Vicky, well...she's my girlfriend." My dad fell silent - which worried me as I thought he would be the one to be more ok with it. And my mum said something like she thought I was going out with someone because of the way I'd been recently, but made no comment about it being with a girl. I had agreed to meet up with my girlfriend after so once I'd said that I kinda rushed out and we didn't talk about it. I thought maybe letting them think about it would be a good idea. On my way out though I kind of blurted out "maybe it's a phase" because I was panicking about their reaction to the whole thing But we don't exactly talk (never have) so that was that. I've always wanted a relationship with my parents where we talk about everything but it just doesn't feel right. Mum is very Christian. And doesn't normally like the things I like, rock/punk music, tattoos, women... I've not been in a relationship since then so there hasn't really been anything to talk about/nothing to remind them of my sexuality and I kinda think that maybe they've forgotten/are ignoring/hoping it was a "phase" Now I'm discovering that maybe I'm a Lesbian and not Bi like if thought, I'm wondering if I should come out - properly (obviously when I've figured everything out) but really worrying about doing it. I worry too much about what they'll say/think but I think I'll be unhappy if I don't come out properly. I didn't know how to tell them when I had my first boyfriend (at 16) and still worry about telling my mum when I'm getting a new tattoo so how am I supposed to say I'm gay??! This is all very confusing. Don't know how much of that actually makes sense, but has anyone got any advice for me??
Get a tattoo of a rainbow :badgrin: Nah, I'm joking. (Unless, you want to!) But I'm sorry about your current situation. That's gotta be tough. I'm still trying to figure out how to tell my parents, so good on you for trying. If you want to try and form a closer relationship, you might want to try bringing up again, and talk to them seriously about it. Or, I would also recommend writing them a letter and leaving it somewhere where they'll find it. I did that with my mom when I got too frustrated with the way she always acts (completely unrelated to sexuality, though), and I haven't gotten a reaction yet. I won't be going back to her house till Thursday so who knows what'll happen. But seriously, it feels great venting through letter. And if it isn't exactly venting, you won't have to stumble over words or be yelled at while you're trying to say something. They'll have it all written out in front of them and they can't tell you to shut up over it, right? But whatever is most comfortable with you. I hope that it'll all work out (*hug*)
That's funny you said about writing a letter because I have done that before. I'm not the most confident person and that mixed with the relationship we have makes it very hard to talk to them about things, so I have done that a few times so I can get my whole point across without them interrupting/shouting. I might try that; first figure out everything and then maybe write a letter explains to them. Hmmm...
