So, I've kinda known for at least a few months now that I definitely was gay for certain and that I was going to need to come out to people. I started by just saying it to myself quietly when no one was home, and on my birthday in January, I texted it to my best friend after she left my house. I wanted to tel her in person, of course, but I just needed to tell someone, and that's how it happened. And then later, I told one of my internet friends, then two of my friends that are girls (the three of us always hang out together, not with anyone else, they aren't friends with my main group) over a group chat, then I told a different friend who I always vent with over text, but he's not even in any group of mine, except my acting class. Then, after an acting competition my class went to, five of us went out to Dairy Queen. We all got our ice cream and started talking about our problems. In our acting class, we had done an anonymous secrets thing, and we talked about how fucked up we all were (one friend might have been raped at a party, one was bulimic, one was abused by her dad, one, a guy, had hooked up with his best friend, also a guy, over the Summer and was confused), and I started crying and told all of them that I was gay, out loud and in person for the first time. It was so scary, but I'm glad I told someone. And after that, I hit a slump. I haven't told anyone since. It's been like 3.5 months since I last told anyone. My main friend group consists of three guys and two girls, one of the guys being me, one of the girls being my best friend who I told on my birthday. We have "movie nights" in my best friend's basement a lot, and I want to get everyone together and tell them there, but there hasn't been a good time in so long. I can't do it out at a restaurant or anything, and I just want to tell them all in person at the same time. I wanted to tomorrow night, but apparently my other girl friend has to study. I have gay aunts. They and their children are accepted in our family. I need to tell my family, though, really badly. I have a 10 year old brother, who I won't bother telling for a little while, a 14 year old sister who might be first, an 18 year old brother who's generally okay with everything, and my mom and dad. I know my mom will always love me, but she always makes "When you get married, your wife ___" statements, and when a girl from my school came out and had her girlfriend at her sweet sixteen, my mom seemed really surprised and said that she "thought she was too know that she's lesbian." I've never felt good enough for my father, I don't know, I have some issues with him. He doesn't like how I spend a lot of time on my computer and I'm into arts and not sports. I feel like he prefers my little brother, a sports maniac. I feel like I can never be good enough for him. So, what do I do? Maybe I should tell my sister, who I also act with? Is it okay to tell of my main friend group minus one? Should I bring my aunts up when I tell my parents? I've heard about leaving a note before, is that a good idea? Help me, please. I don't want to be confined anymore.
No one knows when it is right but you, and you seem to be saying you don't want to be in the closet any more to the rest of the people in your life. If you feel like you need your aunts there when you tell your mom, then tell them first and surely they will come through for you. You can ask your mom to tell your dad (she probably will anyway) for you if you don't want to confront him with it; let her be in on the decision when to tell your younger brother since he is probably too young to understand it right now. As to when to tell your group of friends, they probably already know and are just waiting on you to trust them enough to tell them, but it is up to you to decide when you are ready to do that, whether you wait for a "natural" opportunity to pop up in conversation, or whether you make one for yourself (such as bringing a "coming out" sort of movie to your movie night). Either way you decide to do it, it will probably work out fine.
