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How do you come out to children

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GayNurse95, May 2, 2014.

  1. GayNurse95

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I recently came out to many of my family members as lesbian. Most of them were good responses, except for my dad, stepmom, and my step sister Maia.
    They took the news not too well, and they won't let me express myself (my lesbian self) around the house (no rainbows or talk about woman crushes, not even issues.). I am quite close with my nieces and nephews. They do not know I am gay yet, but I want to tell them. Four of them are under ten, two of them from an accepting mother, the other from the non accepting one. I am very close to the children of the non accepting one. My nephew, Issac, is 15. The younger one, Emma, is 9.
    The mother (Maia) responded very harshly, yelling over the phone to change and making me cry like mad.
    How do I tell them?
    How do I explain it to other kids within the "Christian" realm?
    P.S. In reality, homosexuality is not a sin. In the original ancient Bible, the original sin was child molestation and perversion. It was mixed up through the years. In fact, the gay part wasn't even seen until the 1800's! It helps to do your research.
     
  2. nyxe

    Regular Member

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    For the accepting mother, it shouldn't be too difficult. Just explain that you like women instead of men, or however you feel best to word it.
    As for your sister, ouch. I'm sorry. But if you're really close to the kids, it might be easier. I know a lot of people who've grown up in extremely religious families and find it totally stupid that their parents are so homophobic. I think that your nephew would probably understand the most, as he's already in his teen years and probably is starting to figure himself out (Not necessarily in terms of sexuality, but just in general.).
     
  3. Jadeur

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Just casually.
    If your relationship topic ever comes up.
    Just let them know you have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend.
    Or you like girls more then boys.
    I don't think you need to go too deeply into it.
    I am straight.
    But I am all for everyone sexuality and I'm bringing up my children the same.
    For an example,
    I said to my 8yr old girl at the time"yay we finally get to meet uncle bens boyfriend"
    Or my 4yr old girl was playing with dolls a few weeks ago and said they were getting married.then asked me "do girls marry each other?"
    And I said "for sure when they love each other"
    And she continued happily playing.
     
  4. mangotree

    Full Member

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    Yeah, it's best not to make a bit deal out of it.
    Kids are generally a lot more accepting and understanding than adults.

    Here's a short section of a story that I saw on Youtube once.
    It's part of a TED talk by Ash Beckham.
    Not completely related to coming out, but I think it makes a similar point.

    So I take a deep breath and I look down and staring back at me is a four-year-old girl in a pink dress, not a challenge to a feminist duel, just a kid with a question: "Are you a boy or are you a girl?"

    So I take another deep breath, squat down to next to her, and say, "Hey, I know it's kind of confusing. My hair is short like a boy's, and I wear boy's clothes, but I'm a girl, and you know how sometimes you like to wear a pink dress, and sometimes you like to wear your comfy jammies? Well, I'm more of a comfy jammies kind of girl."

    And this kid looks me dead in the eye, without missing a beat, and says, "My favorite pajamas are purple with fish. Can I get a pancake, please?" (Laughter) And that was it. Just, "Oh, okay. You're a girl. How about that pancake?"