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I'm too chicken to be a man

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Will2M, May 2, 2014.

  1. Will2M

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    I can't tell my parents face to face so I have decided to come out in a letter, let me know what you think please!



    Dear Mom and Dad,

    I’ll get straight to the point. This has been on my mind and I want to get it out. I am bisexual.

    I decided a few months ago that this is who I was and I am very comfortable with my decision and I hope you are comfortable with it too. I originally didn’t want to tell you but in talking with [my girlfriend] about it I realized that it was best to tell you so you didn’t hear it from someone else. I know you will be supportive of me as you have been of [my brother]. But one reservation I had was how you would react when I told you I was bi and it sunk in that you had two “non-straight” children. I know you have been very supportive of [my brother] but at the same time I didn’t know how you would take it, regardless of your love for us. It would be, well, is a lot to take so please talk to me or him if you have any concerns.

    On that note though, the reason I am telling you this in a letter is because I don’t want to sit down and have a conversation about this because I feel like it would be awkward, for me at least. I am not sure why. Maybe because I am seen by everyone as a straight person or maybe because I have already accepted it and moved on. If you have something you really need to talk about or something you want to address then by all means come talk to me but if there is nothing crucial I would appreciate it if you could accept it into your life like I have. Replying to this email is totally fine, too.

    Every time I have thought of this moment I have wanted your response to be “we already knew” but I know that won’t be the answer because it doesn’t seem like me. Until this point I actually was not sure for about 5 years and it is a relief to finally make a decision. To be clear, I do still like girls. At least I think so, sexuality is a confusing thing. I have come out to only six people [friends listed here] but you are my 7th and 8th, yay! Now that I have come out to you I am actually planning to post it to [social media site]. Again, if you have concerns you can talk to me but I don’t see and drawbacks to doing this. Anyone who isn’t supportive I wouldn’t want to be friends with anyway.

    Again, thank you so much for being such awesome parents and being so supportive of me and [my brother]! Love you guys!

    [my name]



    So is there anything I should add? I think I covered any concerns but a second, third, fourth look from you guys would help :slight_smile:

    Thank you to everyone on here for your support!!

    ---------- Post added 2nd May 2014 at 08:45 PM ----------

    hahahaha I just realized that my 100th post is the one above. How fitting :slight_smile:
     
  2. GayDadStr8Marig

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    I would change decided to realized. And change decision to reality. Decisions are choices and your sexual orientation is not a choice, regardless of whether you are 100% certain about it one way or another. Other than that I wish you the best on this important step and hope you enjoy the same love you always have from your parents.

    And congrats on joining the century club on EC! :slight_smile:

    -Rick

    ---------- Post added 2nd May 2014 at 10:55 PM ----------

    And no, you're not too chicken to be a man by writing a letter. It takes a real man to be able to be honest with himself about who he is and share that with the people he cares about.
     
    #2 GayDadStr8Marig, May 2, 2014
    Last edited: May 2, 2014
  3. SemiCharmedLife

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    I agree with GayDadStr8Marig's suggestions. Aside from that, your letter is fantastic. And you're not chicken at all for doing this.

    I buttered my parents up a little when I told them by saying something like "Y'all are so accepting and supportive of me in general and we've always been able to talk about everything, so I want y'all to know about this important part of who I am." Just an idea.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    I'd agree about changing the decide to realise, but other than that, it's just great. The most important thing is that it's from you, in your own words.

    Hope they take it well. Let us know. :slight_smile:

    By the way, it's not chicken to send a letter.