It's nearing the end of the school year, and I have quite a few good friends. Recently, I've been considering coming out to the school (I should mention there are only about 30 people in my grade), before the end of the year (I mentioned in a earlier post that I'll be moving to a different school next year). It seems like a good idea, but there are a few things to consider... 1. My best friend and I will often pretend to be "lesbian lovers" in front of homophobic students and teachers. I feel like if I came out to her, she would turn under the impression that I am in love with her or something and ignore me. 2. There is another bisexual kid in my school, and a lot of guys don't hang around him in fear that he will "hit on them". 3. Although our school is considered a "positive space" for LGBT students and staff, a lot of bi phobia occurs. 4. I don't want to lose any friends from coming out. For example, I feel coming out will cause my friends to feel uncomfortable hanging around me, like going to the movies or sleeping over. 5. My best friend has seemed to have made it pretty clear that if I came out she would feel uncomfortable even touching me (I was joking around when she hugged me one time, and whispered into her ear, "I'm lesbian", and she immediately let go and looked at me weird until she realized i was kidding). 6. I don't want any guys to "get the wrong impression" of me, if you know what i mean. 7. There is no way for me to keep this from my mom, she volunteers at the school, and she would tell my father, who is Catholic, and I don't know how he would feel about it. Idk
Hiya, Although it is good to come out if you can, you do have to consider the effects it will have on your life and if now is the best time to do it. Let's look at each of your concerns 1) if she is really your best friend, her attitude towards you shouldn't change. If it does, then that tells you really what a friend she is. If you feel she is a true best friend, then have faith in her... 2) then that's down to other people's ignorance. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to educate people. Plus, these people are certainly flattering themselves to think they they would get hit on. Being bi, is more about variety than quantity. We aren't greedy.. 3) if there is bi phobia abound, you should take that up with the teachers and head... 4) any friends that don't want to be with you because you are bi, aren't friends worth having... 5) same as answer 1 6) again, this is about educating people. Being bi doesn't make you promiscuous or some kind of fetish for guys. Just because you are bi, it doesn't mean you want to hit on and have sex with everything moving... 7) this is where the real issue lies. As you are financially dependant on your parents, you need to consider carefully the consequences of coming out. Dint do anything that can put you at risk... Anyway, that's my opinion. The final choice is your and I hope whatever you decide works out for the best. Happy days
I did come out (so to speak) to my dad as atheist, and he took it ok. I also forgot to mention his boss is gay
The most important question to ask yourself is, will it make life better or worse for you to come out now? The seven considerations point to a level of indecision about this.
If you go back to your original posting you listed seven issues/considerations that seem to be getting in the way of you coming out.
