I've been subtly talking to my family for awhile trying to get their opinions on gay people. All of my family have negative opinions and perceptions of gay people. Even the people I thought would be the most tolerant have negative thoughts. Right now I'm devastated trying to hide how I feel from my family. What do I even do now? If I come out my whole family will hate me.
I've just had a quick look at your profile and it doesn't say anything about your age or circumstances, so I'm answering in a fairly open way. If you can tell us a bit more about you, it might help us to give a more specific answer. If you are still living at home or depend on parents for security and stability, now might not be a good time to say anything more, especially if you don't have any other family support to fall back on. To take things a step further now could do more harm than good. I don't know if you have a good network of friends who you can talk to about your sexuality. If not, this would seem to be a priority. Build up your network as these people will be there for you if/when you decide to tell your family. In the lives of many gay people our friends become our real families - the people who hold and sustain us through the whole coming out journey and show the love and support that is the essence of real family relationships. Don't lose all hope though. Some people change their opinions when they are confronted with the reality of a family member being gay. What they say now, might not be a true indicator of their reaction if/when you tell them. I know that may be hard to believe, but I have seen it. Friends first, then family.
Hey man, Hope that you're not feeling too down. After reading your predicament, I wouldn't come out yet; there's no reason to. If its friends who won't accept you, then maybe its time to get some new friends because if they can't accept you for who you are, you most definitely should not (and can't) change. If its family, then they should be supportive. What are they saying negatively? Is it like 'Oh gay people can be kinda annoying and I don't agree with it' or is it 'Gay people should be hunted down and killed' (Obv not to that extreme but you get my point) TheOtherGuy
There's no reason to come out to your family if there isn't going to be anyone on your side and all you will get for the effort is a lot of hassle. You read a lot about other people coming out and it can make you feel pressure to do so also but honestly experiences as an out gay teen are not usually all that great. I mean there isn't much to come out to until you are on your own, have your own apartment and so forth. At that point you are away from your family and can do what you want so again, no reason to come out to them. I know it's hard to wait sometimes but coming out for no benefit to you doesn't really make much sense.
I'm 22 and live in a house with some roommates. I honestly don't know how they would react but they would not feel comfortable living with me. My siblings and dad find gay people to be annoying and dramatic. I'm not anything like that but if I tell them they will think of me in the same way. My mom thinks gay people are evil and will go to hell. My Mom provides health insurance and is also on the deed of my car. I work for my dad and he provides auto insurance.
Then I would say definitely don't come out to your family yet. Not until you are no longer dependent on them. I'm not suggesting you take their support under false pretenses, it's just that it's hard to stand your ground in an argument when they have things like this they can hold over your head. Better to wait until you are financially free of them. Is it possible to move out into a more liberal household? You need to be able to bring guys home without worrying about your roommates finding out, don't you?
Sounds like your parents are the ones who are being annoying and dramatic. It's not really that big a deal, unless they CHOOSE to be annoying and dramatic about it.
