Okay first of all guys I didn't come out with my sexuality (it's not time for that YET) but I did come out with not feeling like I'm really much of a Christian like my parents. It sort of felt like coming out as gay since it was big news sort of. My parents are not super religious, we don't go to church every week only pretty much for weddings but we celebrate Christmas and Easter and traditions and my parents believe in all the stuff. But since about a year or two I've felt farther away from my religion and have been thinking maybe when I'm older I'll join a new religion or none or adopt my own values and beliefs. I'm not sure how it came up but we started discussing religion at the dinner table I think my mom was telling me to "thank God" or something and I asked her why I should specifically thank God and from there it went to the religion topic. I told my parents I wasn't so sure who I am or where my beliefs lie exactly. My dad was sort of calm about it all he talked about how because the whole family is Christian for the time being I have to also be a part of our religion but when I'm in college he doesn't care what I do. As for my mom she was a bit more uncomfortable and agitated though she agreed with my dad abour doing what I want when older but I could tell this was a real shock to her and didn't sit super well. Anyway, I did sort of feel a bit teary when discussing it with them because all I could think about was what it would be like to come out and if it would be similar to this. Anyway, the only thing that really got us in a heated debate was that my parents are going to baptize me and my brother soon since they failed to do so when we were younger. I told my parents I feel uncomfortable being baptized since I feel like a baptism is a sacred and special thing basically being welcomed into Christianity and accepting all the teachings and I don't feel that way. But they said I have to do it while my grandparents are still alive and because it's a family thing. Well I just felt like sharing guys.
Ok, so their reactions weren't totally bad...but it does not look all that promising if you later come out to them as lesbian unfortunately. I would wait on that :/. As for your religious beliefs...are you not satisfied with your particular church, denomination, or Christianity as a whole? Because that's fine if you want to church shop. Personally, I would start with reading the Bible (the Gospels first, rest of New Testament, and if you're feeling extra gung-ho, the Old Testament), it is the source of Christian belief after all, and if you find a church that you like and supports your beliefs then even better. Baptism is an awesome thing for a believer. But, if you're not feeling ready to be baptized, then don't be pressured into doing so. I believe that baptism's main purpose is to show everyone that you've committed to believing in Jesus, and it tells everyone that you follow him. If you don't actually feel that way then it's misleading to others.
>_< Wow. Just wow. I apologize because I'm probably going to insult your parents, here, but it's this kind of lukewarm "doing it for appearances" pretense of spirituality that really rankles me. Don't get me wrong: I'm not upset that your parents expect to let you go your own way (eventually)...I think that's only right to do. But my ire has to do with them making you 'go through the motions' now. I just find "please fake it & go through the motions, please?" really repugnant when it comes to a matter of a faith that's sincerely held by others. I applaud you for your moral integrity that you don't want to do this. I think you should give your parents a little lecture on moral integrity, in fact. 'Cause personally I find what they're asking of you cowardly and full of the worst kind of hypocrisy. Anyway, go you for having standards (integrity-wise)! :eusa_clap I'd rebel and not go through with it (their baptism) if it means nothing to you, because that's the right thing to do. Honestly, shame on them. They should know better. ---------- Post added 4th May 2014 at 01:30 AM ---------- I should add that I am a Christian, but I very much believe that one should be allowed the space to breathe and find God on their own, in their own freedom, free will, and way. Your faith (or absence of a faith) should be your own. <3
I agree with all paths! Something like a baptism is an important step in showing your dedication, and should not be taken lightly. I would tell your parents that you recognize this and would feel uncomfortable with perpetuating a hypocrisy! I also agree with IG88, now probably would not be appropriate to now pile on the sexuality portion just yet! Good luck!
I probably won't be coming out with my sexuality until I'm really secure with it and able to take care of myself as right now I live with my parents and am a minor so it wouldn't be a smart move for me to make yet. Anyway, I'm glad some people understand my viewpoint. I've never particularly felt too close to my religion and lately it's been invoking feelings of fear in me when I think of religion and the big afterlife question and whatnot. I feel like there are certain ideas and values and viewpoints that I personally don't really agree with in Christianity. I don't want to get into it and put people down at all but last night I was laying awake in bed and thinking to myself that the problem is that when I do good things and associate doing good things because of my religion or whatever like for example if I was to go and volunteer at a homeless shelter with my church or something I wouldn't be doing it to be a good person like I want to or anything I'd mainly be doing it because I want extra brownie points to get into Heaven and not go down under. I feel like that's sorta wrong and I'm not saying that all Christians do good things to get into Heaven, definitely not but for me that's what I usually feel. I guess what I'm saying is I feel sorta uncomfortable being in a religion that sometimes evokes fear in me. I also get really worried at times because I really like my sexuality right now and don't want it to change or to be a phase or something and I just get uncomfortable wondering if my fate is completely in some other high intelligent being's hands aka God and I always look back at all the good things that have happened to me in the past and how they got ruined and it makes me feel even more freaked out. My point is I told my parents it isn't like I'm 100% sure about changing religions or anything, I might even go back to being a Christian but maybe with more different viewpoints or I'll join a nicer church or something but as of right now I'm not sure who I am or what I want and where it's going for me and I feel like a baptism is something people do when beginning their pilgrimage into their religion in a way so it makes me uncomfortable to be baptized but not really be 100% sure of myself and believing in all the teachings. I think Jesus was a great figure and I do believe in some of his teachings but I don't know enough plus I've disagreed with some of his apostles words and I'm not that knowledgeable on it all. I told my mom about how I feel like since religion is a bit of a big deal seeing how it shapes most or some of your values, thoughts, ideas, and it's basically what you believe comes after death I feel it's important to know as much as you can about it. But my mom was all, " Well sometimes knowing too much about something is bad and you've paranoid yourself!" This is coming from a woman who I don't think has ever even read ten pages of the bible or doesn't know much except for a few famous/well known old and new testament stories.
My family isn't religious, we don't go to church, but we celebrate Christmas, Easter, even the Sava; which is dedicated to individual families patron saint; it's really pagan in it's routes. I am not religious at all, but I take part in all of it because my family does, and this is something you should be doing. There should be no need to announce not being religious, but just go along with what your family does. At my grandfathers funeral I found out I would be revisiting in a month for the same thing basically because it was tradition, and I found out I'd be going back to the grave in 6 months, then a year after that. It takes a year to have a full funeral with my families cultural background, something I feel is excessive, but I am still going to show respect to them and do all of it, even eat the bread, and do the cross. It's just out of respect. It's almost better to just lie about something that insignificant if it will help keep things better with your family. I don't believe in Jesus, but I don't wanna give up Easter and Christmas because it's time with my family. WE need celebrations and all that crap anyways, regardless of it's intended reason, it's all an excuse to get together. Churches also creep the crap out of me, I feel very uneasy in them, but I still go when the time calls for it, because it's what my family is doing.
I understand and respect your viewpoint I just don't know how to not feel guilty when going about this stuff because it does make me uncomfortable and I feel like an outsider especially when religion is such a personal and sacred/special thing I feel like a phony participating in it all when I'm not 100% sure of how I feel on it. At this point I'm sorta like you and just doing it for my family but I didn't announce to my parents that I'm not so religious to cause any uproar or scandal in our family or to upset them purposely I did it because it had been bothering me for a while and I wanted them to know how I felt.
