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Whats the best way to have my first gay sexual experience.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by shyandconfused, May 4, 2014.

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  1. shyandconfused

    shyandconfused
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    Hi,

    im a 32yr old straight guy looking to have my first gay experience. I'm definitely too shy to just hook up wit a guy on ******, I need someone who understands im new and will take it slow. I was thinking of going to a gay sauna but recently I heard my gay friends they are an hiv hotbed.

    I'm just not sure now how im gunna have my first experiance. I have been offered a hookup with a gay friend, which would be ideal, but it would mean coming out to all everyone i know and im just not ready for that yet. What do you think I should do? I'm really confused and worried it may never happen for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
     
    #1 shyandconfused, May 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2014
  2. Querying

    Querying
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    Why would the hookup with a friend mean coming out to everyone? It's not like you're going to wake up covered in rainbow stripes if you do that. It sounds like he already knows, and I don't see how it would be advertising it to anybody else unless you told them.

    I would advise that approach if you don't want to actually get into a relationship with someone (which can, by the way, also be done while living almost completely closeted... Compared to that, hookups are a piece of cake.)

    Hope I helped!
     
    #2 Querying, May 4, 2014
  3. Second

    Second
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    First time I met a girl I spoke to her for over a week on (name of dating site removed) so she knew I wasn't out and that I hadn't been with a girl and I also didn't have to tell anybody I went to meet her...just an idea
     
    #3 Second, May 5, 2014
  4. SwimScotty

    SwimScotty
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    Hooking up with your gay friend shouldn't mean that you have to come out to everyone. It could be a "just between us" thing and nobody else would have to know. If he offered and you want an experience, then taking him up on his offer with the stipulation that he keep it strictly between the two of you may not be a bad idea. It doesn't sound like you're the type of guy to initiate something with someone else, and having your first time with someone you know would probably be the best course of action because there's less risk of misunderstandings or hurt feelings if both people know what's going on.
     
    #4 SwimScotty, May 5, 2014
  5. GurtieP

    GurtieP
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    If you're comfortable with casual sex, I don't see why your friend would mean you have to completely come out. Just go as far as you're okay with.
     
    #5 GurtieP, May 6, 2014
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