How do you "come out" to yourself?

Yes, I experienced a self-denial phase... Where I was thinking that these thoughts/attractions would go away if I did certain things. Mostly cause I had been taught that same sex attractions were an absolute wrong... After awhile I came to the realization these thoughts/attractions were not going away, no matter what I did and that is when I was able to accept myself for who I was.

 

For me I still have a hard time saying I'm gay although intellectually I know it and all that. I'm not really over it but I'm learning to just make slow steps toward excepting it and if I can't at the time I simply say "not straight." I don't know how much help this was but yeah.

 

Well, as someone who was aroused by guys from age 11 and didn't admit it until getting overly invested in a gay sitcom plot line while drunk at age 28, you're doing better than me! But yes, given the amount of time we spend in a heteronormative environment and, in your case, in a conservative Christian environment, it can certainly take time to reprogram our self concept. It took time to get comfortable saying "I'm gay" out loud to myself, let alone another person. It takes practice.

 

Well, I began researching many things one what the bible and Jesus said on homosexuality. While Jesus says nothing of the sort about it the bible does seem to condemn it. Most people use 6 tiny verses out of the bible, out of context to suite their need to condemn homosexuals... Closer inspection and actually reading in context cleared it all up for me. Plus, Prayer... I did this a lot trying to get rid of the gay, It didn't work. I prayed on the subject of how God would feel about me and came to the conclusion he would love me no matter what I am. I haven't came out to my parents yet, though I may have caused doubt in their minds that I am straight, but I just can't seem to tell them... mostly because I'm scared of how they might react.

Well, Simply I don't act how most people would stereotypically view gay people and because no one in my real life knows. You are right though there isn't many places for LGBT people to go and some people can be very harsh in what they say, but most seem to have the courtesy to keep it to themselves, plus I have a few gay friends... *most of my friends are actually* but I can't seem to tel them either.

 

Heh, yeah.. living in Georgia is definitely not the ideal place to be if you are gay. I've lived here all my life, and I would love to move somewhere else eventually. Most of my friends and family are here, so that's the only reason why I stick around.

 

I used to think about it everyday, all the time. As for coming out to my family, I don't think I can do it until I move out, none of them seem accepting in any aspect of the subject, though I do not shy away from expressing my opinions on the matter, something which causes tension sometimes, since I think so differently then they do. Now what I think about every moment is telling someone, I just don't have the courage to even tell friends I know who could care less..

 

Well, I live in a more rural area which is probably a lot worse with people who are very anti-gay. Atlanta would be a decent place to live in Georgia, I think. I've considered moving there because I'd still be in range of my family.

 

Wallace: "Just a bit of harmless brain alteration, that's all."

Practice makes perfect.
This might sound a bit weird.

Try writing or typing it a bunch of times first and see how it feels.
Repetitive thoughts (forced or otherwise) have a habit of sticking until you replace them with something else.

Write something like "I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my gayness".
Write it as many times as you feel is appropriate.
Try to smile as much as you can while doing it.

Then you can try looking yourself in the eyes in the mirror and repeating it over and over in your head. Still smiling.

Then looking in the mirror and speaking it out loud over and over. Still smiling.

Once you've successfully brainwashed yourself, saying it to other people will be a lot easier. If that's what you actually want.

 

Hi!

Perhaps you can focus, not on the word "gay" but on the implications. This means thinking about what it would be like to have an emotional and sexual relationship with a guy.

Try this thought-experiment: imagine your boyfriend is coming to your place this afternoon, and when you greet him, you take his hands and kiss him...How does this scenario make you feel? Listen to your gut...worked for me!

 

You just practice a lot I did looked in the mirror and said it over and over again and I was in denial for a while but I helped me

 

I think everyone goes through a self-denial stage. It took me a good few years before I finally realised that I was kidding myself, and that I was in fact gay. It's just a matter of time - let yourself experience different things and then you'll wake up one day beside someone and think that yes, this is right. This is what you want.

 

It's not a bad thing to imagine an ideal guy or girl, it sharpens our desire and clarifies what we are looking for...

 

Don't know if it is normal when under "denial" but it is normal to feel this way when gay...