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Catholic school boy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Confused29, May 4, 2014.

  1. Confused29

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    Hi I'm new here so this might be a train wreck sorry... But anyway I am a junior in high school at a catholic school and have finally accepted that I am either gay or bi. I am in a long distance relationship with another guy and I like guys sexually but I like the thought of having a normal life with a girl and I think that is why I am attracted to them. The problem is that I am not at all sexually attracted to them... But anyway to my real dilemma. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to come out to my friends, my parents, or to everyone, or not at all. I've been trying to find help but I just don't know where to go or who to go to. I think my friends would accept me but there is always that uncertainty. I would really appreciate it if I could get any help from someone. This really means a lot to me and I want to thank you in advance. I'm struggling with what to do.
     
  2. mbanema

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    As long as you're sure you would be safe at home and your parents wouldn't react too harshly, I strongly advise you to come out as soon as you've really accepted yourself. It's very easy to put it off until the right moment, but the problem is there really isn't one. And the longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes -- look at me, I'm 27 and pretty hopeless in that regard.

    Hopefully you have some great people around you to serve as pillars of support for you. There's no need to tell everyone at once -- just start with someone you really trust and go from there. I do recommend you let your parents know early on in the process though; I think it would be much easier to hear it from you than through the grapevine.

    As for your friends supporting you, anyone who is a true friend is. If someone you currently consider a friend would reject you just because of who you're attracted to, are they really someone you want to be spending time with anyways? I've read several variations of this saying on here, but I think it's a good one: "those who are important won't care, and those who care aren't important."

    Just make sure that you're safe and are confident that you'll have some support. Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
  3. resu

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    As someone who was also raised Catholic and continues going to church after realizing my sexuality over 10 years ago, I totally agree with mbanema. The earlier come out, the earlier you can start getting on with your life.

    One thing with friends is that often times you subconsciously choose those who are most likely to be accepting. That's happened with me, and I have many friends who are straight allies (and some LGBT friends as well) that make me feel confident they would be supportive.

    With family, it just depends, but you know your family better than any of us.