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Coming out to a Catholic friend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by wandergirl, May 5, 2014.

  1. wandergirl

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    Hi guys,
    i have a good friend who always asks me about guys and it starts to make me uncomfortable. but i haven't come out to her yet cause she's very catholic. (she even thinks sex is just for after the wedding).
    I decided to write her instead of telling in person. it has gone better this way till now with other people and she'll have the time she needs to think about it.

    Do you have any advice on what i should include on the message? i mean anything in particular for this Catholic situation??
    any advice that will make her understand better is welcome :slight_smile:

    Thank you.
     
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! It sounds like that you are ready to come out to your friend, which is great!

    In writing the letter, you can try answering the question: "why do you want your friend to know?" You already have a part of the answer in that it makes you uncomfortable when she asks you about guys.

    One thing to mention and to emphasize is that she is a good friend and that you have decided to come out to her because you trust her and are hoping that she will accept you no matter what.

    Given that she is very catholic, you could also try including one or two sentences on the fact that Pope Francis himself has mentioned that it is not for him to judge LGBTQ. It will also come down to what your own beliefs are.

    Has she ever mentioned anything that could give you an indication as to what she might say?
     
  3. Projectfabulous

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    Hi! So first off, I want to say congrats on wanting to come out to your friend and what not. I'm going to start by saying that I myself was raised catholic and many of my friends and family are catholic (ranging from hardcore to not so much). There are 3 people that I've came out to whom I would consider pretty hardcore Catholics and all of them took it incredibly well.

    My one friend and particular talks about her faith a lot as it is a big part of her life and that really scared me. So, I nonchalantly mentioned me wanting to be involved more so in the LGBT+ community as I had begun to accept myself and she was like that's great. Not all catholics are against homosexuality and, as Mirko mentioned, even Pope Francis himself has mentioned that it is not for him to judge LGBTQ.

    I would probably say that you should include phrases talking about how you trust her and consider her a good friend, maybe mention how you were struggling (or maybe not) with your sexuality and now you know the true you and are happy and want her to be happy with you. If anything, treat her as a friend first and a caholic second.(if that makes sense).

    I hope I helped!
     
  4. wandergirl

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    Thank you guys for the support! :grin:

    She and I went to the same catholic school, but i'm not catholic myself so i don't know much about it. But i'll for sure include something mentioning how important it is for me to let her know and that i struggled with it for a long time so this is the reason i'm only coming out now. I don't think mentioning the Pope will be necessary though, but thank you. i'll keep that in mind if she reacts badly, which i hope doesn't happen.
    She has a gay friend. well at least i hope she knows he's gay. that's why i have positive feelings about it, though i know she will be surprised.

    Mirko, you are from BC? How awesome, best place on Earth!!! :grin: