Need help with coming out letter.

*puts on proof-reader hat*

Initial thought. Paragraphs man! Paragraphs!

Mom, I have been feeling a lot of depression, anger, and anxiety lately. I think you have noticed it too. So I'm putting every last drop of my trust into you. I love you very much,

Good. Get some of your base emotions name. Stating that this is something important and you are trusting her to take it seriously. Reminding her that you love her.

and if you don't love me by the end of this letter, I understand.

Get rid of this FOREVER. Two things come to mind if you use this sort of line:

1. Give her the opportunity to accept it before you start suggesting she won't!
2. I don't think it's true. Or rather, I think you understand there is a possibility she won't take this news well. I don't think for a moment you will be able to sit there and think "Well, mum doesn't love me any more. That's understandable!"

Don't give her permission to take this badly. You wouldn't be writing to her if you didn't want her to be OK with it, you would just go ahead and DO it.

Though, I am truly hoping "I love you unconditionally" stands true.

Part of me likes this line, part of me hates it. I'm leaning towards 'keep it' for now!

Every day I wake up I'm living a lie. I'm constantly lying to everyone. It hurts. Your "beautiful little girl" is really your "handsome little man"

Fine.

I know you think it's wrong, and a sin, that's why I've kept it from you for so long.

Noooooooope. This may be true, but you don't want it in there. The last thing you want is to be telling her how SHE feels! If she thinks it's wrong and it's a sin, that is her business but let it come from HER not from you. By all means use something like "I wasn't sure how you would react to this news and that's why I haven't mentioned it until now!", but don't run the risk of antagonising her right now!

This is about my happiness

Consider rephrasing. Keep in mind I'm picking through this with from the position of full negativity and trying to come up with things I would say if I was a parent who didn't like the idea of having a trans child. The thing about this sentence is it sets you up for statements about how damn selfish you are being! You don't consider MY feelings, oh no, it's all about YOUR happiness. What about MY happiness?!

Trust me, you'll probably get that ANYWAY you don't want to INVITE it!

though and if being who I am is wrong, then I don't want to hear it.

I don;t understand what you mean by this!

I'm transgender, this means I was born as one sex, but my mind is another. Leading into me hating my body, because it doesn't feel right. When I'm called feminine pronouns, or things like "pretty" it makes me incredibly sad.

Short explanation of things that bother you and how they make you feel. Lovely!

I want to live my life as who I am.

Yes!

This is the reason I fight you so hard on things like these being called "choices" because I know first hand it is not a choice.

I like the idea behind this sentence but the sentence itself bothers me...I think it's the 'this is the reason...' part. Perhaps I want to believe you would fight it ANYWAY and part of me thinks there is a comeback there but for the life of me I can't think what it would be right now...it's probably fine...ether way the fact that you've said it's not a choice is really important!

I have tried really hard to stay female,

Good, give that whole "it's a phase" thing a kick towards the door!

I never wanted to dissapoint you,

Again, I would remove this. She may well be disappointed in you, and you know her better than I do so you will have a better idea of how she will react. BUT you don't want to put the idea in her head. Give her a chance to take it well!

but ultimately, I'd be sacrificing my life so others can remain happy. I won't get a chance to be happy in this body. You always say you want me to be happy right?

I would consider adding an extra sentence in here. Currently you are sacrificing yourself so others can remain happy. The implication being that you will stop doing that and others will no longer be happy. It suggests that peoples happiness hinges on you staying how they want you to. I think it's worth pointing out that you are not doing this to upset people and that you are certain that people will be just as happy with you as a man!

This is no one's fault. No one has done anything wrong.

True.

Remember, this does not change me. I still love what I love and hate what I hate. Just as a different gender.

A thousand times yes! Lay this on THICK. Imagine this letter is a bacon sandwich, and this point you've just made is the bacon. Now go make a bacon sandwich with bacon bread and bacon condiments and extra bacon.

I know this is hard for you because your "little girl" is gone. I took a while to accept it too.

Probably true, but for the purposes of the letter, you don't know squat. For all you know she is going to take it really well. "I understand this MAY be difficult to deal with, I took a while..." demonstrates that you struggled with it and that you understand that it won't be easy without sounding like a know-it-all or that you are in some way 'better' than her.

But please understand for my happiness.

As I said before with 'my happiness' I would consider removing it.

It's either depressed daughter, or a happy son.

This is an excellent choice of words and in theory you can really push this point...

"It's either depressed daughter, or a happy son...I know which I would prefer!"
"It's either depressed daughter, or a happy son...I just want to be happy!"
"It's either depressed daughter, or a happy son...hopefully a happy son with a mother who loves him as much as she loved her daughter!"

Something like that. Tug those heart strings dude!

I love you, with all of my heart. But the less support I have, the more depression, anger, and anxiety take over.

Take THAT feelings.

My friends support and accept me, but I need you now more than ever.

Unless you want to be accused of emotional blackmail I'd remove the part about your friends. "I need you now more than ever" is a beautiful sentiment on it's own, but it is sort of ruined when you've got 'my friends got over it, so you'd better' at the start!

Also, lesson learned from my mum. She had to watch every other person I know accept me almost IMMEDIATELY where as she struggled for ages. I think that hurt her more than anything. So if she asks if your friends are OK with it, by all means but I'd leave it out for now!


Hope that helps in some way!