What you don't tell them, says a lot

yes I think by not answering the questions that everybody else is answering without a problem says a lot more then we want to think it does like if on Myspace you select no answer for the orientation question and people look for your orientation on your profile only to find its not there then they know you answered it with no answer and they begin to question things same way with facebook but I'm at a point now that if someone asked me about my orientation I would tell them the truth and it looks like you are at that point too. they say a picture is worth a thousand words but I think silence is worth a thousand words too.

Sam

 

Well if it specifically says Orientation: Answered then its a give away. But from my experience on myspace, leaving it blank really isn't a big deal. If you're super worried, leave a few other frields blank too. This way it looks like you just rushed through the creation process, and its not so suss.

 

I would agree that leaving no answer basically says your gay. I know a few gay people that leave it blank.

But in my experience I've never been questioned by anyone about leaving that field blank. Almost as if people were oblivious to it. Then again I'm in university where really it seems that no one really cares if you're gay or not (unlike junior / high school ).

As far as your concerns about someone finding out, you can set Facebook so that your profile is ONLY viewable by your "friends".

I had someone tell me that the reason he left it blank was because he didn't really want it to be a dating site.

I'm also working on figuring out if there's a relationship between having a high percentage of gay friends, or girl friends on facebook, and being gay.

 

I have a facebook also and when I first got mine I worried about the EXACT same thing. I've had it about a year now and my INTERESTED IN column is still blank. I honestly dont think people pay that much attention to it. If they are then obviously they have nothing better to do. My advice : Just leave it blank....I know u dont want anyone assuming anything about you. But dont push yourself out of the closet if your not ready. If your really to the point where your ready to tell people just do it if they ask. Its really none of their business anyway. Hope I helped

 

I've got one and even in a university and there are still people who will say that if you leave it blank you're gay. While this is true in some cases (mine lol), it's not always the case. I know people who are in heterosexual relationships but say that they don't see how it's anybody's business if they are or aren't, and refer to their significant other as their partner too.

I leave it blank because although the people closest to me and people I see on a regular basis know, I don't see the point in delcaring it to everyone right now.

High school is tougher because there's so much homophobia. I credit you tired for the strength to even start to becoming comfortable with the thought of having the whole school know. You might get questions if you leave it blank, you probably will. But since you sound like your comfortable enough with your sexuality, then i guess it doesn't really matter. There's some good advice above too so I won't bother reiterating, but good luck!

 

I totally assume if a guy leaves it blank, they're gay. There's even a Facebook group for that (which I joined). The assumption basically works on the fact that if there's a way to say you're straight--and you're straight--why wouldn't you take it? Because really, it would probably not even be noticed by a straight person.

It's cool they actually have that option. There's a lot of people on Facebook who knee-jerked when someone brought up the notion that maybe Facebook should have a fill-in-the-blank option for sex, and re-label sex "gender" since gender is really what they're asking about. You should have seen some of the responses, about how some people thought people didn't want it called "sex" because they think sex is dirty and how you're either a boy or a girl and not, "What else could there even be?" but literally "You can only be a boy or a girl" and how biologically it's very clear that you're either a boy or a girl (when really it's totally not), etc. etc.

Anyway, it made me recall that I live in quite a nice bubble in a lot of ways.

 

That's what I did at first. That's what a few of my gay friends have down - or don't have down - on their Facebook.

I also have some straight friends who leave it blank. I don't think it's too big a deal, but to some, it's a big clue.

 

I don't know about Facebook but there have been plenty of parents/relatives find out about their gay loved ones through MySpace profiles. So if you are not out yet, you might need to be careful about this type of thing.

 

Heh, a friend of mine made me sign up for a facebook, and I left that blank too ^^` it didn't even occur to me that no answer could be construed as an admission. Thankfully, the friends I have that use it are pretty dense, so I think I'm safe until the day comes that I tell them.

 

Definitely says alot. Everyone I know who has no answer is either gay or bi. Period.

 

You know, I hear about stuff like that and wonder, "How stupid ARE people?" I mean, just because your parents might not have grown up with the Internet doesn't mean they don't it's out there! And it just presupposes that no one over 30 or 40 is even capable of using a computer, let alone a web browser.

I used to frequent a forum similar to this and you'd get people posting with their actual email addresses or email addresses that easily identified them and then they'd freak out when someone they knew found their posting or when they realised how boneheaded they'd been.

I have much the same reaction to the people who are underage and, when signing up for a website that asks them when they were born, actually tell the truth! I'm like, did I just get more brains than some people because I don't think it's very hard to figure out that if you want to access a site that is asking you your age, you'd better make sure you put in you're older than whatever the age of majority is for that jurisdiction!

And then I think maybe everyone else is just more inherently honest than I am--but shortly thereafter I'm like, nah, that's definitely not it.

But yeah, it's kinda freaky how unaware a lot of people seem about how easy it is to find stuff on the Internet. A lot of people seem to think their Internet stuff exists in this pocket universe or bubble or something, inaccessible except to those who they want to access it.

Oh well... *sigh*

 

guitar girl changed her pic... i almost didn't recognize you!

 

I guess I'd say that it's really more obvious for people who are thinking about it. A lack of an "interested in" section is something that a gay kid might notice, but maybe not a straight person who's not thinking about that.

 

I leave it blank and everyone thinks I'm straight. Yet, I only have sex, birthday, and hometown covered.

I really think when we assume something about someone who leaves it blank we are projecting our thoughts on them. Honestly, I bet gay males are the ones who do the assuming because we are the ones who know why someone would leave it blank.

 

Oh goodness, I make that assumption all the time. I actually used to have straight on my myspace (still do on facebook because it broadcasts to everybody when you change it), but at least on myspace my sexuality has mysteriously disappeared :eusa_shhh

 

You can actually go to your profile in Facebook, look at your minifeed, and then "kill" any "stories" you don't want shared with people. Plus there are News Feed/Mini-Feed settings to control what goes out.

 

That's exactly the sort of thing I wouldn't notice and broadcast the change to everyone.

Both my myspace and facebook don't have the question answered, I've had my myspace for almost three years and no one has said anything. Im sure no one reads them anyway :dry: