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One more step

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by StephG, May 6, 2014.

  1. StephG

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    Not out at all
    On the weekend, I came out to an old friend. The funny thing is, she was planning to do the same to me. As we both took that step, we found that there is a new level of support for each other. Her goal is to help start a support group for here in China for local LGBT and is going to help me as there are so many more resources when you have someone who knows the language.....

    Still not sure how much farther I can take things at the moment, but I know that I need to keep making the steps. Not sure I can do more either.....even with the support.

    Not sure how fast is too fast...
     
  2. KnownSecret

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    First off, congrats on coming out to your friend. It's funny that she was planning on coming out to you as well! It's awesome that you have that kind of support and that she is willing to help you. That support group sounds nice and hopefully it will be beneficial for you and your friend.

    As for how your doing things, Move as quickly or as slowly as you want. If you think that your moving to fast, slow down a bit and go at it at a comfortable speed. It sounds like your on the right path though, keep it up, but remember to do it at your own pace.
     
  3. StephG

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    Thanks for the advice. Sometimes I feel like taking a big leap and then step out to try and then pull back at the last second. Coming out was a big deal, I know, but I am trying to make sure that I do it the right way.....

    Hearing it from someone else makes things better, like a second voice that echoes my concerns in harmony..
     
  4. KnownSecret

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    I've done that multiple times. Like coming out to my mom, I had so many great opportunities to tell her that I was gay, but I would end up freezing up or just ended up changing the direction of the conversation all together. Eventually I did come out to my mom, I just had to wait for the perfect opportunity. The perfect opportunity wasn't just when the topic came up (like previous attempts), but it was also when felt the most comfortable, and had the courage to do it. In all reality the only wrong way to coming out is a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or may have negative affects on your life. Digging your way out of your closet can be difficult at first, but once you clear a path it becomes a lot easier.

    It's always nice to have a second voice, I know that if it wasn't for EC, and the multiple voices that helped me through my problems, I wouldn't be as far down my road to coming out as I am today. Having people to relate to really helps build courage, if you ever need anyone to talk to just post on my wall and I will happily talk (or help) if you want :slight_smile:
     
  5. StephG

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    I agree with everything you said....things are going to happen how and when they happen. I appreciate that second voice. It is so nice to have and really appreciate the help. You're right about EC being a great place with a lot of great voices. I read things over and over, not searching for for anything in particular, but something that might strike me.

    Thank you so much :slight_smile:
     
  6. BB444

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    Reading this really helped me too guys so thanks. 27yo guy and have just come out myself in last three months and was exactly the same- had lots of opportunities to tell my mum but couldn't. I think small steps and being comfortable with those steps is the way to go. I've only told mum, sister and a friend but on the way. At least someone knows- makes it a bit easier to clear the head now I think. Best of luck Steph and thanks for your advice KnownSecret. :slight_smile:
     
  7. StephG

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    Thanks BB. That is the way I think I am going to keep going. A friend told me that ****** works here and I am thinking about giving that a try too. It might bring me out a lot further and faster, but sometimes we also have to take those jumps. Not sure I will do it, but good to know there is an option here.