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My mom still doesn't seem to understand

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Smiley1123, Aug 4, 2008.

  1. Smiley1123

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    So the other day we were listening to "I Kissed A Girl" in the car. My mom was like "you liked it?" "oh really" to the song. Then today she was saying that an old man was gay because he was old....Um ok? It's like she forgot I came out to her...I don't know what to do!:help::help:
     
  2. ctw0625

    ctw0625 Guest

    Hmmm... I guess I'm not sure what you're asking, Smiley. Do you mean that you want advice on ways to tell your mom that the comments are hurtful? If so, then I would wait until the next time she makes a "gay" remark and then just tell her how you feel. Don't go on the offensive though, ask pleasantly that she not use the term as a means of degradation. Explain that, even if she doesn't mean it as an insult, it's still hurtful too you. If you've already come out to her, then she should try to be more sensitive to your feelings.
     
  3. jony8472

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    Yehh, I agree
    She probably has no idea what she's saying. She's probably just using 'gay' as another term...
    I think if you tell her it's hurting you she'll make an effort to avoid using 'gay' as a derogatory term=)
     
  4. Lexington

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    If you've told her, you've done all you can, and all you need to. If she wants to pretend it's just a phase or it never happened, there's not a lot you can do about it. Remind her if you think she needs reminding, or just accept the fact that she's still gonna need some time to come to grips with it all.

    Lex
     
  5. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    I think to ignore those kind of comments is a mistake and it keeps parents in that denial stage that they feel oh-so-comfortable in! When she says stuff like that, I would just tell her in a calm voice how that makes you feel. Say "I feel like............... when you make those comments." Then add an educational piece. Tell her most people know they are gay around puberty. Some figure it out later in life. To make an assumption that someone would go gay when they are old is simply not true. You just have to keep talking to your parents.
     
  6. Derek the Wolf

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    She just made a stupid mistake, everyone does it once in a while. After you came out to her it may not have sunk in, and she may still be in a limbo state of denial. Try not to let it bother you, that's something she needs to work through on her own. There's nothing you can do.
     
  7. BitterEdge

    BitterEdge Guest

    Tell her how those comments make you feel...in due time people will learn gay is not a synonym with dumb/ stupid or anything else that seems a bit offensive.