Just a Little Venting

Well, to start, I will admit that I have never written a thread like this before.
It wasn't until late middle school that I began to find my attraction for girls. I remember feeling confused (and in a way, I still do) about what my mind was processing along with my body.
As I entered high school, this attraction grew into something that felt almost uncontrollable. I had felt the sudden urge to date as many of my male classmates in order to dismiss this feeling. Oddly enough, though this may have some hindsight bias attached to it, I think it was me trying to over compensate for what I felt was lacking inside of myself. I lacked that male attraction and instead, felt such an immense female attraction.
I suppose what I am getting at is this: I have come out once prior to me writing this, and out of fear, I felt myself retract back into the closet.
As of recent, I am involved in another relationship with a man, and I know how I genuinely feel about it (it feels uncomfortable and it gives me a certain caged feeling); however, I am experiencing that same fear I have felt since adolescence. I fear that coming out for the second time will eventually pull me back into the closet.
I have never been surrounded by an atmosphere that was truly accepting of the LGBT community, so I was cast out even further than I was originally.
It was difficult to find LGBT communities around my home, and the consistent disgust by those around me caused me pain.
I suppose I am only venting my frustrations. I just want so badly to kick down the door of my own closet and run wild with my lesbian pride :eusa_danc.
I admire those who have been writing about their coming out stories. I think it is beautiful to have so much strength to come out of the closet.