I came out to my best friend on Thursday night, it was the hardest thing I've had to do, he wasn't the first person I've told but the most important person to me. I'm just wondering what people make of the whole situation, I'm just trying to figure things out in my head. I was out drinking with my friends and it was close to the end of the night and we'd all sobered up a little bit and we weren't too drunk, I told then told my best friend I had something to talk about but I wanted to head down someone important to me so we were walking for a good 10 minutes, he was constantly asking me what was wrong however he waited. We both sat down in a quiet place where nobody was around and he just started rubbing my thigh (not in a sexual way, but more comforting), so I basically told him about me being basically interested mostly in guys, he didn't say anything negative and from what he was saying he was happy that I'd told him, he felt privileged that I would share it with him and told me even if he got married tomorrow, I would still be his best man. During the whole time of me telling him he was keeping his arm around me and kept pulling me into him (he could see I was upset) and was at times keep kissing the top of my head (hair), and just telling me I should have said, at one point he was almost close to crying, he had tears in his eyes. I've spoke to him after by message but only briefly and he had said nothing had changed and said if it means I'm happy. My main worry, and the reason I am posting this is to try and see how his reaction may change now that the next time we meet we'll be sober? How would you approach things, we both normally go to the gym a few times each week and play golf most Sundays. I just want to see how things may pan out, and what you make of how he was reaction (bearing in mind we'd had a drink)? Thank you
Having recently gone through the same thing with a close friend I don't think it'll be any different. I was TERRIFIED of telling him but I finally did six days ago. We basically didn't skip a beat. We have talked several times and it's like nothing has changed. I felt just like you between the first time we talked And the second time. I was shaking in my boots the second time I called him. Weird to feel like that with your best friend. He answered the phone and talked like we always talk. Congrats on taking this big step! ---------- Post added 10th May 2014 at 05:21 PM ---------- Alcohol wasn't involved for us but I don't think that would make an ounce of difference.
This is pretty much exactly how it went with my best friend. After I told him, he was like, "Yeah, so? Doesn't make a difference. Now what was I talking about?" haha And the second time I talked to him afterwards, he talked like I never even told him. I was like, "Wait. Did he forget?" lol I agree. I don't think it's going to make any difference.
Thanks for the replies, pleased to hear it went well for both of you with your best friends. I know my friend who I wasn't worried about wouldn't care and he just continued as normal, I was only worried with this best friend as he'd been a bit homophobic in the past at times, and a friend of mine who I told kind of told me to give him space and that he may analyse everything we've ever done in the past in a new light and it just kind of worried me a bit.
I went through a pretty similar thing recently. My best friend had a very similar reaction, he just pulled me into this big hug and told me how proud of me he was. Overall, pretty nice. I don't think you should have to worry about your friend. You said you weren't drinking too much and by the time you told him, you two had sobered up for the most part. And by what you've said about how he's told you over text that nothing's changed, I wouldn't get fussed up over it. He seems sincere, and if things don't go as planned, you can always turn back here for advice.
My friend had occasionally said homophobic things as well which made me nervous. Again he couldn't have been more supportive. He even apologized for saying things like that which I told him he had no reason to be sorry. It is strange to know that he knows this about me but I think we are closer as a result.
I think at first it's important not to give him the impression you like him, whether you do or not, but otherwise it seems like he's totally fine with it I wouldn't worry. I go gym with a couple of guys I'm out to and we spot for each other and physical contact often enough just when we're joking around, it's not awkward. Basically, I'm sure it will be fine! Oh and congratulations
My best friend was totally fine with it (and wasn't that surprised tbh) and has been very supportive since coming out to him. Nothing has changed at all besides the fact that I feel closer to him now and I can finally talk to him about things bothering me. We still hang out quite often and talk everyday. Oh and yes, congrats!
