I sort of came out today to my sister. I was contemplating on doing it all day. I started by asking her every now and then "what would you do if I was gay?" I eventually told her that I don't like girls sexually, but I kind of do emotionally, but that in"like" guys. She said its normal to find guys attractive. I then told her, "no, I mean like REALLY finding them attractive". She seemed puzzled. I then went on to make it sound like I'm confused (since I still kind of am). She said that I needed to experiment. I asked her if she thought different of me, and she kept on saying no. We went on for about an hour. I then made it sound like I pretty much knew that I was gay, but in denial/that I don't want to accept it. She agreed and said that that's what I sound like. She told me to not care what others think, and to just be true to myself. I started crying, telling her how hard that is. That I don't want to be gay, and how I don't want others to know because of society's views on gays. She said to forget them all, and just be true to yourself. She too started crying. She told me that I should come out to mom and dad, but I insisted that I'm not comfortable doing so at this point in time. I started crying again, saying how I don't think they would accept me. They'd probably freak out and find it weird. She said absolutely not, and that they'd be in denial at first, but would still love me and be alright with it. I also told her about the guy who was hitting on me and how I went back to see him and gave him my number. Before I asked her if that was weird/gross, she said "that's actually kind of cute". I again repeated how I don't want to be this way, and how I've bottled my feelings up my entire life because I don't want others to judge me. She said that is so wrong, and that it shouldn't be that way. Going to talk to her later tonight, hopefully more in-depth. She promised to not tell anyone. I have mixed feelings right now. It feels so good to get it out to someone in real life, but I also feel a little nervous about it all. Like she's going to think different of me, even though she repeatedly said that she doesn't and that she still loves me. I think as time goes on, it'll become easier for both her and me. I'll fill y'all in on more developments after I talk to her about it later tonight.
As I said on your wall, I'm very happy for you!!!!!! If I was beside you right now I would give you a big hug, but I'll have to use this instead (*hug*) You must have lots of mixed feelings right now, but I'm very happy to know that she accepted you and that she seems to understand the many difficulties we have to go through in our life. Lets hope she keeps it a secret for now, but if she did suggest talking to your parents, at least it seems they might take it well after a while, so give it a go once you feel more confident on who you are. More hugs for you!!! (*hug*)(*hug*)
Good job on coming out to your sister! If she did accept you and wasn't in complete denial or anger, she probably is a safe person to go to if you need support in coming out your parents and seems to understand what you will have to go through in time. Hopefully your parents won't take it too badly and accept you for who you are.
UPDATE: Still chatting with my sister as I write this, and she's very supportive! She just told me that she always thought she'd handle something like this differently. She thought she'd find it weird. She said for the first few minutes she felt that way, but when she thought about it, she doesn't find it weird at all. She keeps telling me to accept myself since I haven't fully done so, and to forget what others say. To live my life and be happy with it. I love my sister! Talking to her about this feels great!
What a wonderful sister!!!! I'm glad she feels this way, and she is very right about it, accept yourself and live a happy life. (*hug*)
Thanks everyone! (&&&) Another funny thing that happened is when I first came out to her, I was talking about signs from God. About a minute later, I got a breaking news alert on my iPad saying that Michael Sam just became the first openly gay player drafted my the NFL. Now, I don't know if that's a sign from God or not, but what a coincidence. It came right in the middle of me coming out!
If you feel it is a sign from God, then a sign it is. When I get signs from God I have this strange feeling take over me, I really can't explain with words, but maybe you know what I'm talking about. If you felt that, then yes it is a sign, if not, then ask God and wait for his answer.
That's wonderful! I'm really happy for you because I know you have been struggling a lot recently. I also know the struggle isn't over of course, but you're making very good progress. I think your sister will definitely be there for you!
I definitely agree. I kind of felt something, but I think I'm going to reflect and pray on it some more! ---------- Post added 10th May 2014 at 10:32 PM ---------- Thanks I've REALLY been struggling, but I think I've finally begun to accept myself. I'm slowly coming to terms with it all. I really needed someone for support. Now that I came out to my sister and I have her support, I know I'm only going to grow more as a person and become more comfortable in my own skin. As she told me, it's not even a big deal. I just happen to like guys instead of girls. I haven't changed. I'm still me!
Aww, it sounds like you have a really sweet sister!! I understand you feeling that she might perceive you differently, but it honestly seems that she has your back 100% . Congrats on coming out to your sis
Yeah. I don't think she thinks of me any differently. We've been chatting about it all throughout the night. She just went to sleep and she told me "hopefully you can sleep better now", since I haven't been sleeping so well the past couple of weeks.
As you know, I've posted on your wall, but I'll say here too ... well done. Keep talking to us while you continue your journey and remember all that we have shared with you on the various threads. You are a loved and valuable person in this world of ours (*hug*)
Thanks man!(*hug*) Hope everything goes well for you! You and I are similar, so feel free to pick my brain if need be!
