coming out Bi

Although she isn't happy about it, I would have thought (keep in mind, I could be wrong) that the crossdressing would be the more alarming of the two so in theory you might be OK...

Thing is, if all you want to do is come out as bisexual, then all you are saying to her is that you have the potential to be attracted to men. Your wife isn't stupid, she knows full well that just because you are married it doesn't mean that you stopped being able to be attracted to women!

It doesn't necessarily change anything, I mean it's not like you are any more likely to run off with a man than you are with a woman!

Not trying to put you off, just curious. Why do you want her to know?

 

Ellia, are you sure your only 23? girl you have a level head on your shoulders.

to the OP, if your Bi, then what changes with your wife? do you still love her? are you planning to stay married? if so, i would leave it be, if you're thinking you might stray decide what you want and if it isn't her exclusively you need to leave. that applies if you stray with a male or a female. Just my opinion

 

If you decide you are going to come out here's what I advise. First pick your moment. Preferably a time when you are both relaxed. That should help lessen the impact of what you are going to tell them as well as you make you more relaxed as to explain things better without seeming like you are unsure. Also try and work it into a conversation. If you sit them down and say, " I've have smoothing to tell you" it may make it out as if it's some drastic news and may illicit a less favourable reaction.

Secondly, think about what you are going to say. This again helps you come across more certain and so not confused or in doubt. You may want to practice a bit what you want to say so you are more relaxed when you say it.

Finally, be prepared for questions. If you can think of what they may ask, you can give quick calm responses which will make it easier for both of you.

Just remember, they may need time to take the news in, so be prepared to give that. Just remind them, that you are still exactly the same person they knew before they gained this bit of additional info about you and other than gaining theta bit of knowledge nothing has changed about you at all.

Hope everything works out ok for you.

Happy days

 

I've never really loved myself before and i didn't know why.

Take this phrase and hold on to it for dear life, because it is probably the most important thing you will ever say during the course of any future conversation with your wife.

The most common immediate reaction (for obvious reasons) is the idea that someone is coming out because they want something to change. Whether that means a break-up, different sex stuff, and open relationship, a threesome...so many things that shoot into your mind when you hear your partner say "I'm bisexual". It's stupid and if you know anything about bisexuality, not necessarily even rational but that is where the mind goes.

That phrase up there is the key to calming it down. Because ultimately you are not telling her because you want HER to change or to do anything. You aren't telling her so somebody else can love you. You are telling her so that YOU have a chance to love yourself.