Long story begins:Since I told my mom I think I'm gay she acted very strange...She became all cuddly,wanted hugs and kisses all the time(not that she usually doesn't,but it became unsupportable). Last night she sat by me and asked me:"What are your feelings?".I don't know the answer to that question so I didn't say anything...She asked me few more times and then she said:"Did you ever thought about that I'm right?"(she thinks it's just a phase and that it'll go away...). I said that I did. She asked me if I wanted to go to psychiatrist.Ok,I don't care...Then she asked why am I imagining things... That was the last drop! I got angry and asked her why does she think I'm imagining it and why would I have reason for that.She was quiet for a few minutes and then turned the subject to:"Your theory is not correct.Playing with dolls is not a reason to be gay." I never said that!She is turning my words against me!I'm afraid she still can't accept it,but the problem is:she confuses me even more!As if I'm not confused enough!I told her that I'm sleepy and that we will talk another day.I can't claim anything now that she confused me...I cried all night 'cause I'm afraid she will never accept me the way I am,and neither will I...I'm just thinking about how to ease this pain.I don't know what's keeping me in life anymore... Any suggestions how to solve this?
Hey=] I think maybe your mum's still in shock from it... Try and give her some time to accept it for a while, and then sit down and talk through it with her. Explain what you feel it means to be gay, I mean maybe she's just misinterpreting what you say, I mean parents are people too, they're gonna make mistakes and you gotta forgive (and respect them) for that. I hope this helps... and good luck with everything=]
I agree with Jony, she's probably still in shock/denial about it. You didn't mention WHEN you came out to her, but it seems like it was recently. I think that the best thing you could do is sit down and explain it to her. Don't feel ashamed, don't hide your true thoughts, don't get angry. That's not going to do anything to help. After you calmly explain yourself, let her give her opinions too. This may just take a little more effort to see eye to eye from both of you, not that I'm saying you're wrong at all. If the discussion doesn't work and she continues to push for therapy, I might opt for GROUP sessions so that she will be present and able to wotk through her issues as well.
She's still in denial about your orientation. There's not much you can do, except give it time. Her theory of "it's a phase" will evaporate if you're openly gay for the rest of your life. However, if you can't wait that long, you don't have any real capability to convince her otherwise. The sad truth about being in denial is it's a psychological mechanism to keep a person from being hurt from something they see as impossible. Once she accepts the possibility of her son being gay, she will abandon her theory of it being a phase. Short of bringing home a boyfriend, nothing will shake her out of it (and I wouldn't recommend that, as it makes the reality seem all more real to them, and it can be like coming out all over again).
Hi there. I am sorry that you are going through this. It is often hard for parents to overcome their shock/surprise. It will take time but overtime, your mom will accept you for who you are. She is still in denial and probably has a hard time dealing with it as well. I think what would help is if you try continue talking to her about your feelings. Try to be as open as possible. Say that you haven't figured all your feelings out for yourself yet, but you know that it is not a phase. Let her know that this is a difficult time for you. Take it one day at a time. It will take time for her to come around to it but I am sure that she eventually will. I think it would be a good idea if you try to get some material for your mom to read. Please call some of the GLBT groups in Belgrade and/or Novi Sad and ask them if they could send you some material for your parents to read. Try to contact the group whose link I have sent you. Please give it a try. Sometimes, when we educate our parents they will have an easier time accepting it and will realize that there is nothing wrong with it. Never give up on life. Please don't hurt yourself. You will get through this. If you can, try to enlist the help of your friend. Talk to her about it. As difficult as it might sound, but do continue to talk to the people around you. Everything will turn out alright. Trust me. It will be okay. If you ever need to talk or just want to vent please feel free to pm me at any time.
Are you an only child? Parent who have only one child tend to find it more difficult. Sometimes because they think they've failed. Mostly because they want granchildren.... Ive never seen the facination with granchildren... Just tell her how you feel. Tell her how much she is confusing you. Ask her why she just can't support you. She's just in the same phase most parents go into. (Just like mine) Give it time.
Perhaps I am making a few assumptions here but I would suggest that you tell her that your attraction to other males is not the source of confusion, rather the extent and if it is to the exclusion of females. Tell her that you appreciate open dialogue (and perhaps) that that is why you came out to her but that her comments of "imagining things" miss the boat and are rather unconstructive. Assure her that life as a gay man need not be a lonely or unhappy life as often depicted in popular culture and the materials that Asteroid suggested would probably help in that regard. May patience, goodwill, and time be on your side.
Parents sometimes find it hard to accept that their child is gay. They go through all kinds of steps before they come to acceptance. It seems like your mom is still in shock and maybe a little denial, all you can do is give her time to digest what you told her. Also a lot of parents think it is a phase at first I guess to help them with the shock they are feeling, again the thinking it's a phase will ease up eventually and especially after you get in a relationship and she sees that you are serious. Time is the key thing to remember in your situation it will get better I promise. Sam
Hey there! I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I wanted to seek some clarification about something, though. You said that your mother was very "cuddly" and "wanting hugs and kisses all the time." She seems to have a lot of love for you. I agree with the other posters. I think that she is just in a bit of denial. From what I have researched and read, it can take a while for that denial stage to come to a close. Don't let this get you down. I think you have a wonderful mother who is trying to show her love and support for you in her own way. I don't think she's trying to abandon you or overwhelm you. Those are my observations. Don't let this get you down! You sound like an intelligent person with a bright future. Don't let anyone ruin that.
