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Finding an opportunity to come out to (accepting) parents??

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by itsjess, May 13, 2014.

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  1. itsjess

    itsjess
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Heya guys, I'm looking for some advice!
    I live with my mother and grandmother, and see my father for a few days every month.
    I'm very very close with my best friend, to the extent where all three of my ~parental units~ have questioned whether we were together in the past. All three have expressed that they would be completely accepting if we were, and that as long as I'm happy, they are.
    My grandmother, being a bit more old fashioned, sees anything other than heterosexuality as "unnatural" and, as much as I disagree with her, she doesn't condemn homosexuality either. She thinks that people should be allowed to live how they want. My father, his girlfriend and my mother are all fully accepting, and my mother and I have discussed the fact that I may not exactly be straight before.
    A few months on, I'm sure I'm gay.. So how do I find the opportunity to tell them without any awkwardness? I know I'll feel so much better once it's off my chest and it's lovely to know with certainty that they'll accept me, but I'm still finding it difficult to work it into conversation!
     
    #1 itsjess, May 13, 2014
  2. mangotree

    mangotree
    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Queensland, Australia
    Unfortunately there's nearly always awkwardness the first time you do it. It's just the nature of it.

    If you mean that you don't want to make a deal about it (e.g. "We need to talk" or "I have something I need to tell you"), followed by a prepared speech, then during pretty much any conversation will do. Or no conversation, just say it out of the blue while she/he's washing the dishes or watching TV - just make sure you've got her/his attention first.

    Short, sweet and to the point is usually a good place to start - "I'm Gay", "I'm a lesbian" etc...
    But maybe avoid things like "I THINK I'm gay" or "I THINK I'm a Lesbian" or "I'm not attracted to guys any more".
    It helps to come across as self assured and certain.

    Personally, I had some PFLAG pamphlets or print outs ready to give to Mum and Dad afterwards as well.
    Not sure if they read them, but it may have helped to drive the message home a bit because it showed that I'd been preparing for it for a while.

    Just a couple of suggestions there.
    May not be suitable to your situation, but something to think about.

    Peace be with you :slight_smile:
     
    #2 mangotree, May 13, 2014
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