So this doesn't really have anything to do with sexual orientation but more like life. I've struggled with depression a good portion of my life and have realized its mainly due to my social isolation. I haven't got many friends and the ones I have are always busy. I'm in college and don't exactly know how to get in the social circles. Advice anyone?
Join some clubs. Having a common interest with people is the best way to make friends. There's got to be at least one club on campus that interests you; get involved with it and start meeting new people. You'll almost certainly strike up a friendship with some of the folks there. And whatever happens, don't give up on being social. It's not always easy, but the alternative is hiding yourself away, and you don't want to do that.
I know exactly what you're going through. The best way to meet people and make friends is simply get involved. Join clubs, go to meetings, go to sporting events, anything. You'll meet people. Try to be outgoing. Make the first move. Don't be worried about rejection. You may run into some jerks along the way, and don't let it get to you. You don't have to be identical to a person to get along with them. My better friends are very different than me. It's kinda of a Yin Yang aspect: to be completely balanced you must find your opposite and embrace it. It's not just about meeting people, it's about meeting DIFFERENT people. Variety helps. Good luck.
Hi there! I think it is good that you have already identified the source of your depression. This will definitely help you to overcome it. I think what might help, is if you try joining a club (as other have suggested above) at your college. For a lot of activities on campus you don't even have to join a club. There are many things going on. If you find something that interests you, you could just sign up or join them and help out. Joining a club or helping others, will definitely help you to get to know new people and most likely you will also meet people with whom you have a few things in common which will help you to form new friendships and take it from there. A new term is coming up. Should your college have 'club days' try taking advantage of them. Also, some associations on campus will have coffee houses or breakfasts once a week or so, which are open to the college community. Maybe you could attend something along these lines, where you will meet new people as well and get into social circles as it were. In case you are a bit shy maybe try joining an activity where the membership is not as large. Like this, it might be easier for you to become comfortable with the people around you, and you will also have an easier time striking up a conversation with a couple of members. No matter what you end up joining or how you end up meeting new people, the most important thing is to be yourself. No worries, you will get to know new people which will allow you to become more social and come out of the isolation. Give it a try. I hope this helps!
I don't think it's necessary to try to break into established social circles. I mean, if you happen to, great. But most people don't deal exclusively with people in one social sphere. For instance, I've got friends who live in my building, friends I work with, friends I met at concerts, and so forth. They don't necessarily know each other. Not because I "keep them separate", but because I tend to hang out with them separately, and do different types of things with them. Instead of trying to break into established social circle, make your own. Make some more friends. Keep your eyes peeled for potential people. If you live on campus, the people in your dorm are a good bet. The other students in your classes. People in the dining halls. Anyone who looks friendly is always a good bet. Once you spot someone... 1. Figure out your common ground. 2. Talk about - or, better yet, ask questions about - your common ground. So let's pick one. Let's say you see someone in the dining hall. You're waiting in line to get lunch. There's your common ground - you're both in the dining hall. Use that. Ask a question. "Have you ever had this beef-noodle casserole? Is it any good?" "Are they ever going to have any chips here besides plain Lay's?" "Hi. I've got kind of a weird question. I've had a hamburger here everyday for the last several days, and I want to try something else. Can you recommend anything?" Some people are going to give cursory answers. Usually that means they're not really feeling friendly right that second. It happens. It doesn't mean they're horrible people, or that you should never try again with them. But now isn't a good time. If it seems clear that you're not going to have much of a conversation, then just stop, thank him briefly, and start looking for someone else. Lex
*raises hand* I'll be your friend =P Like others said, join clubs!!! Make sure that they meet your expectations and interests too. I know for a fact that they have a Rainbow Center where you are going. Maybe you should check it out! You'll meet all kinds of people too. Good luck!
Hey, I'm Jon=] I'd love to be your friend too=D Anyway, I'm not sure if I can really help you through at all becuase I'm actually struggling with the same thing... Granted, I'm still in high school, but even there I've got no friends... or at least none I can talk to and growing up, well it really helps to have someone to turn to and say 'Oh waitz... I needz halp plz'. So yeh, go with what others have told you=] Hope things get better=D
I once got a piece of advice on how to make friends with people from this brilliant life-coach person. Anyway, he said, that to start up a conversation with ANYONE, you just have to go up to them, compliment them, and ask a question about themselves For example: That's a really pretty necklace, where did you get it? It actually works. I've tried it, for interests sake, at the mall, at school, at the supermarket queue... Pretty much anywhere when I was bored and wanted to talk to someone So, once you've joined a club or whatever, just strike up a conversation. Then hopefully you'll become friends with them, and they'll know people who you share common interests with etc. Good luck :]
