Ok so I've always had a close relationship with my grandparents, but since coming to terms with not being straight I've started to worry about whether I should tell them/ how to tell them. You see, my grandad is pretty openly homophobic. I don't know what my gran thinks as she has never said anything about it herself, but doesn't stop my grandad when he says homophobic things. I want to tell them because I used to be so close to them and I feel like not telling them is causing me to drift away from them, but obviously I'm afraid of how they'll react.
Well I think the reality is that if you don't tell them you can kiss your relationship goodbye to some extent. I mean it's not impossible, but hearing someone say openly negative things about people knowing secretly that they all apply to you cuts like a knife. It's not impossible to get over but it takes a heck of a lot more than most people have. If you tell them, it might go badly. It might go REALLY badly. But realistically, it can only get so much worse. It's not like there isn't already a wedge between you... On the other hand it could make them stop and think for a minute about what they are saying, because now it applies to someone they care about. I was convinced my grandparents wouldn't take the news I was bisexual very well so I never told them. I had no idea what their position on trans people was, but given how they actually reacted I'm guessing it was pretty bad. But they thought about it, told me they thought it was a terrible idea but they love me anyway and are working through it...I won't pretend that will DEFINITELY happen to you, but it's a chance you may have to take at some point...
You don't have anything to lose. If you don't tell them andthey find out, they can be mad that you don't tell them or You tell them and they don't accept you and they will be mad. Or you tell them and they will accept you. In my opinion it is always better idea to tell even if someone will not accept than live in closet.
Yeah I've been finding it really hard to listen to the things my grandad says. My grandparents picked me up from uni for the easter holiday, and partway through the journey he somehow got onto a rant about how he disagrees with gay marriage. I tried to ask him why he was against it and he didn't even have a reason. I managed to stay fairly calm until I got home, but as soon as I was alone I couldn't stop crying til my parents got home. I can't get over how that felt, which is why I want to just tell them but it's also why I'm really afraid. I was scared enough telling my parents, even though I knew they had no problem with gay people and are far more open-minded than my grandparents. It turned out there was nothing to worry about telling my parents, luckily. I think I will have to tell them, because you're right, I don't think I can take just sitting there quietly while my grandad says hurtful things without realising he's talking about me as well. I guess I just need to work out how and when. Edit: Aaron, just saw your reply after I posted this one. I agree, I think I'd rather I told them and they got mad at me for who I am, rather than try to hide who I am from them.
If they are willing, it might help to do it with your parents present. It definitely helps to have people there for you.
