Gooday All! I know the idea or reality of having to come out to others one day is scary and many times unwished for. I also know from talking to some of you through EC that many of you confide everything in family, friends, or counsellors. This thread is geared towards those who confide in counselors. I have been going to counseling for a year, but had never told my counselor anything about my sexuality. This may be because you think it doesn't matter, but that's so incorrect - the truth is it matters a lot, so much it bothers me to think about it sometimes, because I am/was scared. It's not wrong to guard your heart and protect yourself, most times it's encouraged. There must be some confidence placed in others to also protect you and help you protect yourself. This is where my counselor comes in. I have lately been plagued with racing thoughts surrounding coming out, group talks of relationships, talking about cute boys, ect which caused me to feel very isolated and guilty. None of my family knew about my sexuality (and still don't) and it was difficult to keep it to myself and struggle every day. I had no idea what to label myself when asked because the label "pansexual" was so unheard of/unrecognized in society. When I left counseling one day, she knew something was on my mind, but I'd said I didn't want to talk about it just then - even though really I did, just couldn't. For the rest of that day everything in my life seemed to revolve around my sexuality and it drove me crazy and I felt guilty/ashamed/secretive, etc. That night I emailed her and told her about my confusion and who I loved and why society scares me. She sent me a lovely response the next day: "You are brave and amazing. I so wish I could offer you a world that would see you the same way, but you're right - its not that way everywhere. I'm so glad you shared this with me. And you're right - I believe whole-heartedly that people are who they are - gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered or otherwise. But I also know that this is not the way everyone thinks and I can't imagine what it's been like to keep this part of you hidden, protected for so long. I agree - this is a great time to talk about it if you need to talk about it. And trust me, you will find that once you hit university there will be many more open, like minded people there who believe what you believe and love you for who you are - without question. Life is so much bigger and better than high school - thank goodness!!! So, I am completely open to this conversation next time - whatever that looks like. I also want to make you aware of "The Avenue Community Centre" in Saskatoon. They are a fantastic non-profit organization that aims at providing accurate information and advocacy for sexually and gender diverse people. They are a terrific resource. If you google them, you will find more info and some contact numbers. You know what? You seem like exactly the same person you were a few days ago to me I just happen to know you a little better now. Take care and see you soon" You do not by any reason have to read the whole message, but my point is that counselors are trained to be accepting and help in issues including sexuality. Most counselors honestly do know that homosexual people are born who they are! Please everyone, it may be hard, but it's a great first step to learning to be comfortable with yourself - tell your counselor. It's terrifying in the moment but it brings so much relief and reassurance. Remember if they are not accepting or make you feel uncomfortable about yourself, you can ALWAYS change counselors, no questions. I know you all can do it - love from Louisa.
