Hi Everyone. I'll try to post again...without posting my email addy . I have found that I need to talk about my situation, both from an understanding perspective as well as a 'not feeling alone' perspective. If anyone would like to chat over MSN, please PM me and I'll provide you with my msn address. I'm 37, married and currently in the closet to all but one family member. I'd love to hear from others about their situation and how they're dealing. Thanks...
Others can post in this thread about their thoughts and situations. If you'd like to talk one-on-one with someone via Private Message (PM), the advisors here at EC are available for that. I'm 38, but I've never been married, and so can't really address that aspect of your situation. Another member of the Advisor team, Jim, is over 30, and HAS been married. He might be your best bet. Would you like him to send you a PM? Lex
Thanks everyone. Jim has contacted me and his advice/chat has been great. I'm just looking for some more people to talk to. I like meeting people from all walks as everyone has a different perspective to give based on their experiences... Thanks again...
As Henson said, you're currently limited to who you can communicate with privately due to the security measures we have in place for all members. Here is the list from the welcome PM that tells everybody who you can contact and what that person has a keen interest and/or experience in.
I'd be happy to share my experiences and thoughts with you. But I'm gonna need a specific topic. Otherwise, I'll start rambling about the post-punk movement, gay cartoon characters, and the Colorado Mammoth indoor lacrosse team. Lex
Experiences and thoughts...Topic? Hmmm. How about open relationships? I've noticed several situations where guys are in an 'open' relationship. I realize that this isn't necessarily a reflection exclusively of the gay scene, but do think it is more common than in a typical hetero relationship. What is everyone's views on open relationships? Do they work/not work? What are the pros/cons, dangers? etc.
I only know a few people in open relationships. Can it work? Yes. But. First off, both partners need to be VERY secure and understanding. Both partners have to agree wholeheartedly that this is something that they want to do. If there's any insecurity on either partners' part, you don't do it - simple as that. You can't say "I'm in an open relationship, but my partner doesn't know." The correct term for this is "cheating on your partner". The key word is open relationship is "open". Full disclosure is an absolute must. Even in an open relationship, lines must be drawn. Can each partner do anything sexual? Must the other partner meet the potential third party before anything happens? Must the other partner be told before anything happens? Is spending the night OK? No secrets are held. No one has to give a (ahem) blow-by-blow description if the other doesn't want to hear about it, but everything that is wanted to be revealed should be. Third parties must be told about the open relationship before anything happens. Again, full disclosure. If you hook up with a guy, the general assumption is that he's "free". One doesn't want to start in on something, only to be told "my partner doesn't think I should see you anymore". The third party needs to know right up front that, if he presses on, there is going to be a point where it can't go any further. They can only hook up once a week, he can't sleep over, whatever. That specific point doesn't have to be stated right out front, but the third party does need to know that the partner has priority. Lastly, if either partner finds himself getting jealous or unhappy about the arrangement, he can call an end to it. He can ask that the relationship be returned to an exclusive one. If the other partner doesn't agree, of course, that'll signal the potential end of the relationship. But that's sort of the hazard of it all. Lex
Martinski, the list was compiled by Becky if I remember well, credit her or she'll sue you Back to topic... Creole. That name will always make me think of "Creole Lady Marmalade" and so of Moulin Rouge. I obviously haven't been married (and never will!) and I might be too young for you to pay attention to me, but if you want to talk to me, I'll be happy to do so. However I'll need a topic like Lex, otherwise I'll start talking about computers, Full Spectrum, hot guys or my own problems, lol.
