So... I make it PRETTY obvious that I'm not straight and cisgender. I wear only guys' clothing, cut my hair short, try to actually be as much of a guy as I can at this point. Well... I actually came out as trans today. A bisexual homoromantic transdude. So this all came about because of a pep rally that's been in the making for like... At least a month. And they decided to make it battle of the sexes. And that pep rally was today. Well, Girls had to wear pink, guys blue. And I've been trying to honestly talk about it in the open, but apparently no one was listening and they told me that I had to wear pink and sit with the girls. And so after angsting for a month about what to wear, I decided on a shirt with blue, pink, purple, black, and white. White encompasses all the colors of the spectrum, black none, pink for girls, blue for boys and purple in the middle. I also wore neon rainbow earrings with pink, blue, and purple on them. I thought that by wearing pink I'd get them to leave me alone. Well, they didn't. "Why are you wearing blue too? You have no school spirit! You're worth nothing!" Were all things I heard today and leading up to today. And so in my English class, right before the rally, I came out. I fielded a ton of questions, and I tried to answer them nicely, and even when the teacher told them to get back to work they wouldn't. Some of them were "So wait are you telling me you're just a lesbian in denial? Are you gonna get a dick stuck on you? Aren't you scared to get your boobies cut off?" And when I told them about my chosen name (Christopher Adam), they're all like, "Can I call you Chris?" and started making it into a joke. I told them it isn't my legal name yet and that I'm still into guys but that I'm not supposed to be a girl because that isn't how I feel but they just wouldn't back off. I get that it's natural to be curious, but couldn't they have been a bit more mature as an honors English class? So. Back to the pep rally. Anyway. So we have this gay kid in my school. He's cool. I like him. But he was allowed to wear pink and sit with the girls without much fuss. But I was mercilessly mocked, teased, and questioned for trying to do the same except the opposite. I know I would have vocally been rejected on both sides even though he was cheered for. I had to stop myself from crying all day. And I got one apology from one kid who had been really cruel to me earlier, going far enough to say to me, "And you want to be a boy?" really rudely when I injured myself pretty badly and said ouch. And everyone else has still treated me like crap. I need help. And badly. I need to know where I go from here. Since I've come out to my dad and most of the school now, and I haven't had much support from either, I'm scared to come out to the rest of my family. And I REALLY want to know where I can go from here that won't get me treated so cruelly that I have to bite back tears every second of every day. Please help?
