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Possibly came out to my mom...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Kabuki, May 17, 2014.

  1. Kabuki

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    Hey guys :smilewave

    So, yesterday when I was going to sleep, I couldn't sleep at all! I was literally thinking about coming out to my mom all night. I decided to write her a letter and all night I was looking for ways on how to convey what I felt. After I sorted my ideas I prayed and went, finally, to sleep.

    When I woke up today, early actually, I prayed, read the bible to see if I could find something to settle my mind, and after that I started writing. I wrote her 4 pages, not from both sides though, and I placed it on her night table under her phone. Basically I wrote that I was most likely gay, that I might have known since I was in 5th grade but tried my hardest to change. I explained why I wanted to change, but that there was no way I could change so I had no other choice than to accept myself as I am, because if I'm not able to love myself, how am I supposed to love anyone else.

    I also wrote what I found about the possibility that being gay is not a sin and that not everything in the bible is interpreted correctly, but more on the needs of the person interpreting it. In the end I just spoke my mind, and lastly, I asked her for 2 favors: the first one was that she should take time to process everything I just told her in the letter; and the second one was that before talking to me she should pray to God and ask him for guidance, because I wanted to have a peaceful discussion.

    Well, for now the letter is not on the night table, so that means she must have taken it. If she has read it, I don't know yet, she acted like always so either she hasn't read it yet, or she took it well and is still waiting until she fulfills my favors.

    I hope everything goes well, she has already dealt with a lesbian daughter, so I hope this goes well, and by well I mean that we don't end up having a fight and her preaching me about why I can't be gay, etc.

    I'll keep you guys updated if something happens. Pray for me!!!! Or just wish me a good luck. (*hug*)
     
  2. mangotree

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    Good luck mate!

    Peace be with you.
     
  3. Jack of Hearts

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    Hey!! :slight_smile:
    You have no idea how happy I am for your accomplishment (*hug*) Congratulations!
    Please let me know as soon as you have an answer.
    Big hug !!
     
  4. looking for me

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    prayers for a peaceful acceptance.(*hug*)
     
  5. JohnB

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    I love the title. Lol. Not to give any disheartening feels or anything, just saw an optimistic side of the situation already when I read that. Where I m coming from for such a response is that coming out is really nerve racking to the point you don't know what to do, I get butter flies whenever it is out of my hands on how people I know will react to my news.

    I feel for your situation and hope it goes well. :slight_smile: Good luck.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Kabuki, I so hope this goes well for you and you come back to us with positive news (*hug*)
     
  7. Kabuki

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    Thanks guys!!! I really appreciate the support.

    I can't say I have news, but yesterday she post something on FB that made me think that she did read the letter I wrote, so I guess she knows now. I can't say how she took it since she hasn't brought up the subject. Maybe she's still waiting for the right time? I don't want to bring it up myself since I'm very scared, so I guess I'll patiently wait for her to ask me.

    I just hope she gives me the chance to let her know my point of view before she comes to conclusions about all this.

    Anyways, I'm glad I did the first step. Thanks you guys!!!!!! Really! (*hug*)
     
  8. GurtieP

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    I also went with the letter route. My mom didn't approach me until I asked her about the letter. Then we had a conversation about it. Maybe she's waiting on you to say something? Good luck!
     
  9. everyonesfriend

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    If your mom is fine with a lesbian daughter, I'm sure she'll be fine with you!
     
  10. mangotree

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    I say be patient (if you can).

    The more time she has to think about it, pray about it, talk about it with others (forums or friends), the more she will understand.

    She's probably just as nervous as you are. I believe she'll come to you when she's ready.
     
  11. Jack of Hearts

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    Thats good news for now :icon_bigg I came out to my parents with a letter as well.
    Big hug and keep in touch :thumbsup:
     
  12. YuriBunny

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    I wish you the best of luck! ^.^
     
  13. confuseduser99

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    Awesome! I hope it goes well! Keep us updated!

    ^ Also, THIS! I'm sure she'll be accepting of you! Best of luck! (*hug*)
     
  14. Kabuki

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    Sorry for the late update guys, I was without internet for the last 2 days.
    Anyways, last Sunday I couldn't handle the anxiety and nervousness so I decided to text her and ask her about it. She answered, and told me that she had done what I asked her(she prayed) and that that was the reason why she looked at ease. I asked her then if I could go to her room and talk, and she said yes.

    Obviously, even before we could say anything we started to cry. I hugged her and she hugged me back. We then talked for approx 3 hours. She took it well, I know she doesn't believe being gay is something natural, but what I really wanted from her wasn't to hear her say "I love you", or that she would change her way of thinking, what I wanted was for her to understand my point of view on all of it, and thankfully she did. She did say she loved me no matter what, her way of seeing things hasn't changed, but she did understood my point of view and respected it.

    In the end we talked about things about the bible and I tried my best to educate her on what I knew about homosexuality. She understood me and that, atleast, is a plus for me. She still clings to her beliefs and that God will change me, and I'm not angry about it, but I did told her that I did my best to change and it didn't work, if being gay is not what God intends me to be then he will do his job and change me when the time is right, but I told her and myself that I can't live denying what I am now. I won't change my lifestyle, I'll still be the same as I was before, but I can't close up my heart and wait for God to change me(if he does) and live a life without having the opportunity of loving someone and being loved. All in all, everything went a whole lot better than expected.

    Thanks for the support and prayers guys!!!! :grin:
     
  15. Kat777

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    Glad everything went well for you! :slight_smile:
     
  16. confuseduser99

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    Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! It's great to hear that your mom still loves you! (*hug*) You're so brave for coming out to her! All the best! :icon_bigg
     
  17. Kabuki

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    Thanks confuseduser99 and Kat777 I'm also glad it went well!! Now if I could just talk to my dad :lol:
     
  18. PatrickUK

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    I am delighted to hear your news Kabuki. I have been thinking about you over the last few days since you told us about the letter and hoping that your Mom would be okay with it and it sounds as though she has been great. Whilst she holds to her beliefs she hasn't used them against you or to reject you and her feelings and love for you haven't changed one bit.

    Big smile here. Well done :slight_smile:
     
  19. Kabuki

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    Thanks a lot Linco, I really appreciate it. :slight_smile:

    Yes, even if she holds to her beliefs, I'm very glad she understood my stance on all of this, which I'm completely grateful, because unfortunately it didn't go this way when my sister came out to her. I'm just glad everything went okay, and that nothing seems to have changed, she just knows something more about me that's all.
     
  20. Jack of Hearts

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    Congratulations for this big step on your life!! Saying you didn't pray for God to change you, yet trying your best for it, shows how mature you are and how consistent you are on your beliefs. I'm sure your capacity of choosing the right words will take you far :slight_smile:

    I'm so happy for you (*hug*)
     
    #20 Jack of Hearts, May 24, 2014
    Last edited: May 24, 2014