Im 14 and gay, i told at least 3 of my friends. they took it pretty well. But i want to tell my family. The truth is im really scared. When my mom saw me looking at gay related things she beat the crap put of me. And knowing she did that brought down my self confidence to tell her i'm gay. I read a lot of storys of people coming out to their mom and heard a couple people saying that their mom was trying to commit suicide.... i dont know. I woukdnt say my mom is that religious but she would say God doesnt like that and that i'm going to hell, I have the biggest feeling my mom is going to cry and start a commotion. Especially my brothers they would make fun of my saying i'm gay in general. My older brother would try to kill me. He hates gays alot since he had a friend who was gay he didnt talk to him ever again. and he would talk behind his back saying how thats gross and fucking nasty. Same with my brother. My sister is different she is not like any other sister that takes it well. she probably would hit me and say like "are you fucking really" in an angry facebut idk. Im really scared. Anyone have advice?
Hi RvP! (If that stands for what I think it does- I like you already!) (*hug*) I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. As much as you wouldn't have at the time, the small experience from the past when you were caught viewing gay things online might have worked in your favour a little. You have the clearest idea that unfortunately coming out to your family might not exactly go the way you & I would hope for. For this incident, did you admit to looking it up yourself or laying it as accidentally finding through another link or someone else sending it to you? It's completely understandable you feel scared and are concerned about coming out. I probably don't need to tell you, but physical abuse of any kind of any reason is completely unacceptable and wrong. Does that happen often or was this just a one off when she saw what you were looking at? I would highly suggest you at least delay coming out for now. It must be really difficult wanting to express your true feelings, but some of the possible consequences you've mentioned are very serious and potentially irreversible. As much as you feel the desire to come out, If the responses from so many people so close to you all your life were as poor as you suggested they might be, I'm not sure that would be an improvement. As you're 14, you are at school is my guess. What kind of school is it? I'm thinking perhaps they may have a counselor who could provide you some listening time and help out with your situation. Not everyone fancies this though (in fact, it wasn't for me!). As I mentioned before: I wouldn't come out if you genuinely feel the probable scenarios are that bad. It's completely unfair on you during what I presume is some important years at school.
you should definitely delay com in gout for now. i know it will be painful and depressing, but it's in the interest of your safety. don't jeopardize your life. unfortunately, you might have to wait a few more years, but hang in there. and don't worry. a lot of people are really accepting. not everyone will berate you for being gay.
I'm really sorry to hear this about your family and no matter what they should love you but as you said that they don't support LGBT members you should delay your coming out and wait for a while. You could start with a point that you skim more what they think about gays and say something like what do you think if he's gay, what would you do, just something like that. You're only 14 so you have a lot of time to think about everything and to come out later when you find more about your family's attitude about this theme. (*hug*)
Got to be Robin van Persie hasn't it? Even the v is lower case and other two letters upper! The red in my name will give you a hint that I'm a big United fan
Sometimes in life we have to ask ourselves "what price do I pay for love and support and is that price too high?". That may be a question you need to ask yourself concerning the situation with your family. Of course, we all want the love and support of our family when we come out and it saddens me greatly when I read heartbreaking stories of rejection on this forum. I'll never understand how people can be so ignorant and vindictive towards their own flesh and blood. It happens too often. I don't know what your circumstances are at home, but if you are not in a position to live independently without the financial support of your family I should keep quiet, rather than expose yourself to homophobic anger or violence. It's not worth coming out now, just to face that. In the future you may face a tough decision regarding your family. You may need to think of life without them if you will forever run the gauntlet of hostility and hatred, but for now, just stay safe and lean on us for moral support.
Well you don't really need to come out to your mum do you? Its done. But I'd leave it for a bit of time.
Honestly, I would wait to come out until I was out of the house. Since, you can't choose not to be gay. That may be the best option. By the way, I am really sorry about the way your family will respond.
My heart breaks for you. As relieving as the coming out process would be, It's better to wait until you can provide for yourself in this situation rather than endure being beaten or abandoned. I'm so sorry
I just wanna say it's awful how your family is treating you But I would probably agree with Sarah2695, it might be best if you can to wait until you're no longer dependent on living at home
