NOTE: This thread isn't about if a girl is gay/bi, but how I can figure out where I stand with my crush and we can become better friends and maybe even more. Yesterday, I had marching band practice. The flag corps/colour guard practices with us because they march with us at football games and parades. Well, a girl that I have a mild crush on, joined flag corps. We'll call her M. We were walking back in from the field (we had pictures. I was in full uniform, actually..) so, I run up and start a friendly chat with her, like I usually do. Okay, I guess I'm a total flirt with her, but that's not important. She's nice to me, I'm nice back. It's not my fault it can be taken as flirting...I guess. Well, after she tells me she went on a mission trip. She's very active in her church, she leads the church band and everything. But she's not like "fags burn in hell" or at least, I don't think she is. But I think she's too nice for that, at least I hope. And that she's been visiting family and stuff. We kind of end the conversation, I don't know if I didn't have anything to say or if she didn't. I don't know if it was because she was nervous around me or if I was nervous around her. Blah, this is such a rant. Anyways. After all of the band kids got back and put their uniform away, we went outside to practice the show (it's a Beach Boys show, if anyone actually cares). The flag corps comes with us, of course because they have a part in the show too. After we get done with it (I'm not near this girl during this part...she's in the back, I'm in the front). We go back inside for a 13 minute break, and the flag corps gets to leave because the next part is all music and they don't have any reason to stick around to hear us blow our guts out. They get to hear that at football games and parades. So, I walk over to wear she's standing (I pretend to be visiting another girl standing next to her that we're both friends with. I'm quite popular actually, haha). That girl leaves, so it's just M and me. So...after a few minutes of awkward silence (I had no idea what to say..and usually I have something to say. She's one of the only people I'm actually quiet around :roflmao: ) We have this conversation. M: Well, um, I'm gonna, uh, get going now. Me: Okay (I was thinking dammit...moron, missed your chance, again) M: Uh, well, see ya Sarah! *throws me the peace sign* Me: Yeah, see ya M. *returns the peace sign* I mean, just because she's a good little Christian girl doesn't mean she can't like girls. And I just wish that I knew what was going on. I'm not trying to obsess over this, but she just seems to be really nervous and a hell of a lot less confident around me. She's nice as hell (bad analogy I apologize), smart, a great singer, and just a cool person. I don't mind being friends with her, but if she does like me, I want to know! I just get, vibes, when I'm around her, but I'm not going to make a move or anything. Just in case she isn't, gay or bi. I mean, she let me look through her purse and (as a joke) I put my arm around her (just her shoulders...that would be creepy if I put my arm around her waist) and she didn't tense up, but...she's kind of touchy-feely with some of her friends. Oh, and one time during English, I got hit the neck with a book (just a paper back, but it was a thick ass paper back book!) everyone else laughed, but she was down on the floor with me (the damn thing knocked me out of my chair), making sure I was okay. But that might be out of the kindness of her heart. Ah well, my plan of action, don't press the issue, act the same way around her and see what happens. You never know. Gosh, I crush on the most confusing people, don't I? I mean, is there anything else I could do? I'm not trying to debate whether or not she's gay or not. I just want to know if I can become a closer friend without appearing too eager or like a stalker. :help:
Nothing bad will happen if you stay the course and act the same around her. However, if you want to be better friends with her (CAUTION: becoming really good friends with someone on whom you have a crush can be very emotionally taxing), then step it up a notch. Take her from being a friend of convenience whom you only see at school to a real friend with whom you spend time outside of school. For example, if the two of you have some friends in common, invite her and them to your house to watch a movie or something. If all that goes well, do it again a few times. Eventually you two might be at a level where you can ask her to hang out alone with you without it seeming like you're hitting on her. On top of that, have a deeper conversation with her. I'm not saying to just randomly walk up to her and be all "Let's tell each other our darkest secrets!" But, for example, if she seems upset about something, ask her if she's okay. Then casually let her know that you're there if she wants to get anything off her chest. If the two of you find yourself alone together with nothing to do, strike up a conversation and then gently steer it in such a way as to discuss something meaningful, whether it's your own lives or your philosophies on the universe or something. Subtlety is key here. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard. Spending time together outside of school and talking about more important things are two great ways to take a friendship from casual to close! Hopefully some of this helps you to get closer to her. As a bonus, if she finds herself leaning towards the ladies, she might choose to confide in you. At any rate, hopefully you'll wind up with a great friend.
Little bit of an update for y'all. I went to Mcdonald's with my mom. Guess who was standing in line? M, of course. She was there with a friend and her brother. I saw her and I'm pretty sure I had this look on my face :eek:. Which, in most cases, probably wasn't a good thing, but whatever. She sees me and says "Hey Sarah!" with a big smile and wave. I smiled and waved back. And my mother, being the wonderfully awkward person she is, asks me who she is. So I said 'That's [insert name here]', and my mom, asks 'who?!' and I said "She played Esta in the school musical". My mom says "oh, now I know"...She's wonderful, but horribly awkward sometimes. The worst part about all of this is, I had blue ink all over my hands because my pen exploded. I looked like a smurf, haha. I just love how I can run into people at the most awkward spots during the day, :roflmao:
lol i hate when you are not expecting to see you're crush and you are totally unprepared and when you do, you either jump out of you're skin, or momentarily look at them in horror/shock haha thats gotta be a giveaway im sure.
I have a couple friends who I'm friends with because I liked them at some point, so I've definitely been in your situation before ... people are pretty oblivious in my opinion. I know that I've acted like a total idiot around girls I liked but didn't know that well, but the girls in question didn't notice this at all. They're just like "Yay! Someone wants to be friends with me". And she seems like she wants to get to know you too, so I'd say go for it.
I think she's straight, but I don't have any proof either way. Oh well, if she is straight we can still be friends.
I have some news, about the same girl. I didn't think it would be productive to start a new thread, so I found the old thread. Well, it turns out that someone I thought was my friend betrayed me. She told M that I liked her. This girl claims that M asked her and that she just had to tell the truth. And that M was afraid to talk to me about it. Needless to say. I'M PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, that's done. M is now acting distant towards me and when I talk to her she's quieter than usual and very abrupt. No longer do we have long, fun conversations like we used to. No longer does she trust me with the problems she has with boys. No longer does she find me and talk to me. My so-called 'friend' broke my trust and destroyed my friendship. Which makes me extremely pissed. I would have never put M in a situation in which I was going to rape her or anything. For God's sake she took her shirt off in front of me and walked around in her bra. If I was going to do anything I certainly would have done it then. My friend is very, possessive, of her female friends. When I was first befriending M, she nearly had a heart attack. I think I should talk to M, but I don't have the guts to do so. I mentioned talking to her and the girl who told her freaked out on me. She basically drug M down the hallway when we were all walking to Biology class. What I'm asking is, how should I go about talking to M? Right now I'm on winter break, so I don't see her, but when I get back to school how should I do it? I also have her phone number (she gave it to me when we talking about the asshole guy she liked at that time....Major douche) so I could call her...What should I say? Should I call her, I'm so confused?
Do you have her e-mail? It would make sense to drop her an e-mail and let her know how you feel. "Look, I know what happened and I'd like to talk to you about it. I'd like to asnwer any questions you have have and apologize that you've been put in such a position. I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with how I feel about you, but I'd like to know where we stand. Do you think you could give me a call or vice-versa?" She seems like a really nice girl, and I wouln't give up yet. Your friend seems like a bit of a douche though. Mabye have a talk with her as well. "You've done enough damage with this alreay. Please leve this alone."
My friend is a douche, I'm glad I'm not the only one to see that. I've already let her know (with a few colorful phrases) that she messed it up and that she should stay out of it. But she's nosy and obnoxious. I don't have her email. I only have her phone number, and she doesn't have texting *cough* lame *cough*. She doesn't have Myspace either, it's so hard to get in touch with her when school's out. She is a nice girl, she really is. And I think if I talk to her I can maybe fix things up, because we used to have a really cool friendship.
I wrote her a letter. Explaining everything. It's quite long and I don't really want to type it out, seeing as my hand hurts from punching another wall....Long story. I'll give it to her January 6th, when we go back to school. I won't see her until then.
