Right, time for me to beg for help from other people. Again. I've met this guy, hurrah for me. I wouldn't dream of calling it a relationship yet, but we're talking, I think he likes me, I think I like him and so on. We haven't met properly yet, but we're going out for a coffee and chat next week. And it's not a "coffee" it's real, physical coffee. Like the stuff in a cup. Though who knows... The only little problem that I have, is that he's 24 and I'm 18. Is that too much of a difference? Is there anything in the fact that this is the first and closest thing I've had to a relationship? I've examined my feelings, and I think that this could probably go somewhere, maybe. But there's still some doubt floating about the back of my mind. Maybe it'll go away, maybe I won't need to do anything about it and the situation will resolve itself. Still, what do you people think? Anything would help me think it through.
My opinion is that love does not choose ages...It's enough that you are 18.If you like him and you believe he likes you too,then try it out.You can't lose anything...
I dont think the age difference is going to be a problem. Your both consenting and legal and thats all that age has say in. If this is the closest thing to a relationship youve had its still important to stand up for yourself and tell him although he is 6 years older you will not be taken for granted.
Hi there! Given that you have some lingering doubts, try to take it slow. It seems to me that at some level you are a bit uncomfortable with it. I think the best approach would be to trying to get to know him as best as you can before taking it to the next level as it were. As you get to know him and become more comfortable with/around him, some of your doubts should disappear. If they don't disappear and if they get stronger (which might happen as well), I think this would be one more reason to take it slow and (as hard as it might be) to make sure that you are meant for each other. I don't think there is a problem in terms of the age difference. However, as soon as there is something that you don't feel comfortable with, you need to let him know. Given that he has (presumably) more experience in terms of relationships, he might want to go a lot faster than with what you are comfortable with. As long as he can respect that this would be your first relationship (if it gets to that), respects your wishes and does not take advantage of you, I think it should be fine. I hope this helps!
My suggestion is that you grow up real quick. If you're living with your parents then save up some cash for a deposit and two months rent on an apartment. Find a friend who is living with his/her parents as well, and share an apartment with them. I say this because, at 22, immaturity in younger men is a huge turnoff for me. If you do the above it will ensure that you will gain a LOT of maturity very quickly, and will increase your chances with this older guy significantly. Also have confidence in yourself, that's a biggie too. And if you already have your own place and whatnot, then congrats, your relationship should work out fine.
I think you're old enough at 18 to decide how you want the relationship to continue. If you both are mutually attracted to each other and legitimately care for the other, I don't see any problem with it. However, if it turns out he has different motives or a lack of concern for you, you might want to look at it closer. Otherwise...it looks fine to me.
Take it slow, get to know each other first. If you need, explain to him that you have to take it slow for a little while to get to know him, you probably don't even have to explain that he is your first relationship or even that you are having doubts about age if you don't want to at first. Watch for the signs: if he is leading the relationship and you are watching it all happen or if he is pushing you around or you feel taken advantage of in any way, he might not even realize he is doing it because he is so much older than you, you have to get out of that relationship. Even if it is balanced, you might find that age creates a divide in your relationship simply because you are at different stages of your life and always have been so you don't have so much in common as you thought. But then again, maybe you are perfect for each other and no one would even guess you are six years apart. Get to know him, if it doesn't work, well it will be a learning experience. What have you got to lose? If it works, then great! Think of everything you could have missed out on if you get so caught up in this that you get scared. Good luck!
My parents are 9 years apart. They've been happily married for 18 years. Love knows no age (or gender, or race, etc)
Take it slow! (Have you read that already here...?) If people have said it over and over, it's because many people don't take it slow in their first relationship. I'd say that you're already ahead of yourself if you've never actually me in person yet you're wondering about having a future with this guy. You're also talking about going for a real coffee, but 'who knows'. Well - you should know! Going slow means: JUST GOING FOR COFFEE. And if you appear to like each other, than making plans to get together for dinner or biking or something the next time. It does NOT mean going for coffee and then going back to his place. So make yourself that promise - that you're just going for coffee. If he's willing to 'wait' and take it slow too, then there's definitely a future between the two of you. If he doesn't return your calls because you didn't get naked the first time you me, then yes - there's a problem. Not necessarily with your ages, but with your objectives. Good luck. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I'm marrying my girl who is 6 years older than me. I know, i'm still very young, but this just feels more 'right' and natural than anything i've ever experienced before. But in my opinion, love doesn't have an age limit, you can fall in love at any age, with anyone who crosses your path if thats the way it was meant to be.
Just wait until you meet him in real life, get to know him better and see how you feel then. 6 years really doesn't matter if you both like each other, respect each other and could see the relationship working. If it feels right then go for it, and if not - try to work out what is wrong and if it can be overcome. But if it is primarily the age difference I don't think that matters at all. I mean my friends dad who is in his late fourties has been dating a woman similar in age to my sister (in her early-mid twenties) and they seem to be pretty happy!! Age really shouldn't matter unless there is a legal implication. So if it all feels right then just go for it!!
I think Jim1451 put it best. The age should definitely be the least of your worries. Take your time with this. On date #1, go for coffee... and only coffee. On date #2, go see a movie or go to the mall... and only that. On date #3, go for dinner... and see where that leaves you. I would not let anything happen on the first two dates, at least. I believe that rushing things like this offer only a short-term payout without any long-term implications. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day... neither are good relationships.
Personally I don't think it makes too much of a difference. Love isn't restricted to gender, why should it be restricted by age? You may get some funny looks with an age difference like that, but I wouldn't worry about it. My parents have an age difference of 13 years, and they've been married for 31 years. Fact of the matter is, a relationship CAN work despite any obstacle, and this is a fairly minor one. Don't let it keep you from exploring potential feelings for someone.
Yeah, i realised this. But in life, you just gotta go with the flow, and this is the way my water is flowing right now.
Thank you for all the answers, it's helped me to think through things. The general concensus seems to be take it, but slowly. Watch out for yourself. Thankfully, I could probably say that "take it slowly" or "be cautious" is probably my motto in life. So I'm obviously going to follow that. And to everyone concerned about the coffee turning into a "coffee" I never had any intentions of that happening. I just like a little wordplay every now and then. Even the bad kind.
I don't think it is. However, some people are more mature and others aren't...so it depends on you really.
