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My Story (Advice?)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by milokaross, May 19, 2014.

  1. milokaross

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So... I just signed up on here because I have really wanted somewhere safe to anonymously discuss what has been happening with me. If anyone has any encouraging words to share, I would be so grateful. Anyways, here is my (shortened) story:

    I kinda-sorta knew I liked girls and guys at a young age. However, all any of my female friends talked about was how cute boys were. So, monkey see, monkey do. I just talked about how cute that boy in my third-class was too. When I finally hit middle school, I did not think anything of noticing how cute that girl in my classroom was. The idea was there, just not recognizable. That is, until middle school ended. When someone, who was dear to me at the time, came out. Then I thought, “Hey, this is a thing.” I did not really like this “thing” though. I knew it was not a “wrong thing,” but I still did not want it at all. But now, I am done kidding myself and everyone else. Feelings have gotten stronger as I have gotten older. These past couple years have been lengthy enough. So let me be honest: I know I like girls and guys. I am bisexual.

    But... I am scared to come out. My family will not care, but what about my friends? Some of them will be alright with it, others will be like... huh? What about the guy I like? Will my sexuality change what I think we are developing? And all of the other people? I have already been made fun of at school, would it get worse if I came out? Will they think that I am just another “fake”? What if, after coming out, I realize that I was mistaken about my sexuality? Finally, what if I am just not ready yet?

    (Also, I know you guys cannot answer all of these questions. I just needed to get them off my chest.)

    Thanks for making it through my lengthy post. Any advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. nyxe

    Regular Member

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    Lets see... I'll try and answer your questions as best as I can :slight_smile:
    If you want to come out, I'd start out with those people that you know will be supportive. It's a major confidence booster even if you know they won't care if you're bisexual. I speak from personal experience.
    Hmm... Not sure about how it'll affect the guy you like. Depends on what he thinks of bisexuality. He might not care, but I can't really give you a straight-up answer on him.
    I'm sorry that you're getting made fun of!! (*hug*) People are stupid. I honestly don't know if the teasing will get worse or not. I don't think that they'd say you were being fake, unless they're those dummies who don't think bisexuality is a real thing.
    And if you aren't ready yet... that's perfectly fine, too! Don't rush it if you aren't comfortable with coming out yet. Do it when you're ready! :thumbsup:
    I hope this helped at least a little. Good luck!
     
  3. Kamina

    Full Member

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    Friends are weird, I came out and a bunch of them followed (mostly as straight demi-sexuals but still big steps for us). None of mine were unaccepting and I really think that if they are your friends and you live in a tolerant area it shouldn't be an issue. The people who have a problem with it aren't people you want to know.

    As for the guy you like.... I can't see being bi change his opinion that much because you still like guys, you just also like girls. But you don't have to come out to him right away.

    lol I'm not out to anyone else but if someone asked me I'd likely tell them. You don't have to come out to everyone at once. No worries bro.

    Relating to general mockery... I definitely know how hard it is to be the outsider, that word accurately sums up my school experience until last year-ish, and if you feel coming out will make it worse maybe hold off until you are comfortable and then come out. But again you don't have to throw the closet door off it's hinges when you come out. You can let certain people into your closet first.

    I still worry about my sexuality being "fake" and I've known for about a year now. So I don't know if that ever really goes away, probably gets easier with more experience but eventually you just get tired of hiding.

    You could be just not ready. There's absolutely no harm in that. Honestly I would wait until you are more comfortable with it yourself and you know better how your friends are going to react. But the closet door does not need to fly off like a rocket. Tell someone you can trust and go from there!