Hi, I'm a 23-year old law student who's frightened of coming out as trans. When I was young, I used to pray to God repeatedly for my body to transform into a girl's body. I was really disappointed that my body remained male, while my brain was undoubtedly female. I hated having my male genitals, and even tried to damage them. I hated going to the barber to have my hair cut short. As I grew older and underwent puberty, I was distraught at my deepened voice and hairy legs. I am sure that I am a girl trapped in a male body. I believe that there is a large biological reason for it. I have a female digit ratio and tiny hands (even tinier than some girls'). I don't have a visible Adam's apple. Every time I try an online test, it tells me I am transsexual or have a distinctly female brain. I have hidden my gender identity from everyone, including family and friends. Now, my gender dysphoria has reached a peak. I have even considered meeting a doctor and getting hormones to start my transition. However, I have this dilemma within me. I am afraid of what people will think of me if I transition. As a Christian and bible study/worship leader, I fear that my Christian friends will look at me differently and shun me. My family is Christian and conservative, so I am afraid that they won't accept me as a girl. I personally believe that there's nothing wrong with being trans. I didn't choose to be trans, and I certainly can't stop being trans no matter how hard I try. However, I am scared and feel as though I can't tell my family and friends how I really feel. Now, I'm desperate. Help!
Well, don't base your gender identity on what you read in online tests or what seems feminine about you. I for one, have a very """"masculine aura"""" or something, because I enjoy roughhousing and sports (which bothers me when people say that, because it doesn't necessarily equate with masculinity or femininity, but what the hell ever.) But I mean, obviously the tests aren't the only factor as you explained. You identify as girl and I congratulate you for coming to terms with it. I also have to apologize for the dysphoria that you are struggling with. Coming out is.... Incredibly hard. Coming out to Christian/conservative friends is even harder, trust me, I know. You have to ask yourself questions first- Are you ready? Have they shown signs of being bigoted towards transgendered men/women before? Could your safety potentially be in danger by them being aware of your gender identity? (i.e them harming you, kicking you out, etc) Do you think you can deal with them NOT being accepting of it? After self evaluating and all that, and if you can wholeheartedly confirm that 1. Youre ready 2. They may accept you 3. You will be safe (most important) 4. You can deal with the rejection should it happen, then you move on to coming out. You can come out blatantly, which is just telling them that you identify as a female and would like the, to use female pronouns. This requires you to be kinda hardcore, cause you can't quite beat around the bush. You can come out gradually, such as dropping hints. Since gender roles are common in society today, you could always just kind of ... Slowly conform to them, in an oblivious sort of way. An example would be asking to go shopping with your mom, and maybe spending a little bit of time around the jewelry or whatever. You can do it separately, starting with the person you trust most. They can then help you come out to the rest of your family/friends. Coming out is a big step, and preparing for it is nothing to look over. You have to be ready for all kinds of reactions. Good luck, and if you need to talk, message me! ^u^
Thanks literalmerida for the advice! Yeah, I guess I just have to be brave and accept rejection if it comes. I understand that not everyone will accept me, but I can't keep hiding who I really am inside. I guess I will have to find the right time to come out. Thanks once again! I'm really encouraged.
