Hey, thanks for taking the time to help me Anyway, I've thought for the last couple of months that I might be gay because I've definitely felt attracted to guys before, and when I play basketball for a team I can't stop staring at the other guys haha but I also know I'm attracted to girls as well, because a lot of the girls I sit with at school I think are really hot and I definitely feel attracted to them. Also I noticed that I do tent to act kinda queer haha and I tend to speak kinda girlyish. And I hang out with girls more than guys. So I've basically come to the conclusion that I'm bisexual... I'm not scared about being bi and I'm completely happy about it. But I don't know who to come out to or when or whatever. I want everyone to know lol but I've recently moved to a new school and I've made a few awesome friends and I know they would be okay with it but I know there will be people who won't. And it will spread around. Also I definitely don't want to tell my mum yet. I know she would be complete accepting ofc but it's too awkward right now and my sister, although completely accepting of it, and she actually supports gays/gay marriage heaps would not under stand because she has autism and allthough she thinks she understand she won't and she will make fun of me and "just tell 1 friend" and then everyone will know. There is this one guy at my old school I'm really good friends with who I have a huge feeling he's gay and he would be super accepting and I really want to tell him. But I still have no idea. Anyway, in your opinion, after reading my story thingo what do you think would be the best path to take? Also know any ways to find out if other guys are gay like any obvious signs or something lol cos I want to find other people like mee. Also want to somehow come out to my friend anyone know what to say like umm are you accepting of gay ppl etc. Thanks for reading. (!) sorry it was so long I really appreciate your help and this looks like a great community and I look forward to using it more. Thanks (*hug*) I'm 14 btw
Hi Ship, I was about to write something about "knowing" your sexuality before coming out, but I personally found that the process of coming out really helped me to realise who I was, even though it meant having to come out twice (which may or may not be the case for you). Still, maybe pay attention to whether your feeling toward the basketball guys is somehow different to the feelings you have for the girls. It can really help to have one person to talk openly with, as long as you're sure they won't tell anyone else without you knowing. Perhaps the guy from your old school might be a safe bet, and if he's about the same age as you - you'll probably be able to support each other. It sounds like you want to tell him as well. The most terrifying but also the easiest way to come out to someone is just to say "I'm Gay" (or insert sexuality). If you decide to tell your friend at school (and there's no rush), judging by your "queer acting" - she might not be hugely surprised. Here's a few signs that someone is gay - though I'm terrible at picking up on them myself. Unfortunately it involves a lot of stereotyping which is often wrong and a little bit offensive, but here we go. If you look at them and you can't imagine them having a girlfriend, making out with a girl or even holding a girl's hand. Be careful that you haven't got "lust goggles" on though, because if you really fancy him, your imagination and fantasies could be seeing something that isn't there. It's a difficult one. If you're talking to a guy and you make deep eye contact, there's often a feeling you get from each other. I don't know how else to explain it. If you notice a guy "people watching", see who he looks up and down. If he acts a bit "queer" like you. If he blushes when he talks to you. If he's into drama, theatre or acting. If he likes madonna or cher or kylie. If he has a big group of girl friends and not a lot of guy friends. If he has a female best friend. If he takes as long to get ready in the morning as a girl normally does (hair, makeup etc..) If they're on f**eb**k and they're fans of George Takei, Lizzy the Lezzy, Same Same, Will and Grace, Queer as Folk, Vicious, Beautiful People or Rick&Steve. If their favourite movies include Beautiful Thing, Another Gay Movie or Eating Out. Hardly any of the above actually apply to me personally, so the stereotypes don't always fit. But sometimes they do. Sorry if I've offended anyone, I felt kind of terrible while writing some of those. My post's a bit too long now, but if you have any questions - please ask.
Thanks heaps for your help mangotree really helpful advice I might tell him this Friday when I see him or maybe just wait a few more weeks it depends. I want to ask him about his sexuality without being offensive, but I know he will probably take it personally and even if he is gay he might still say he's not.. And also it's his choice as to when or if he wants to say it haha I don't even know if he is gay he might just be really queer... Anyway thanks again for your super helpful advice and for taking the time to read my question thingo. I'm new at using this forum so I hope this message gets to you. Thanks again again, ship (!) PS: yes my friend does cover a lot of those "stereotypes" that you mentioned and so do I haha ---------- Post added 21st May 2014 at 03:31 PM ---------- I wrote a reply don't know if u got it but it's on this thread thing somewhere.
