Hey guys. Due to recent events, I've ended up being sort of forced out of the closet to people (not everyone). And everytime someone finds out, I feel SO awkward. I don't really like talking about it, or even saying "I'm gay" and no matter WHAT anyone says afterwards I always hate hearing it or discussing it. I don't know what my issue is but I have told NUMEROUS people and I still feel uncomfortable about it. If I didn't feel so awkward I would be fine telling everyone but it's just weird for me. Like I feel like a freak everytime I tell somebody. I'm stressed. How do I stop stressing over telling people? It's holding me back and I don't know what to do.
Aww, I'm sorry you feel stressed and uncomfortable after coming out to people. (*hug*) Personally, I have always felt a huge relief, and I loved talking about it. Maybe it's because I was a bit older than you when I first came out, and I wanted someone to talk to about it. Prior to that, I felt really alone. You could just tell them you don't want to really talk about it right now, and that should be enough for them.
First of all, it absolutely sucks that you're being forced out of the closet. Coming out is an extremely difficult, personal decision in the best case scenario and it's not fair that you aren't able to do so on your own terms. With that said, as uncomfortable as you might be right now I think you'll look back on it as a positive event in your like. It may cause you stress, tears, or anger, but in the long run as long as you're safe you're better off getting it over with as soon as you can. Trust me, the longer you wait the more difficult it becomes. You don't want to end up perpetually closeted and alone like me. You've shown a lot of courage to make it this far and I admire you for that. You shouldn't feel like a freak though. Yeah, unfortunately there are going to be some people who aren't accepting, but screw them. I forget how the exact saying goes, but it's something like "those who are worth it won't care and those who care aren't worth it." At the very least you'll eventually feel free to be yourself and you'll learn who your true friends are, as difficult as that may be. I guess that doesn't really answer your question. I don't know how to be more confident about telling other people because I insist on starting with my parents and I can't bring myself to do it. All I can say is that one day you'll be glad you did it. Good luck!
I agree with Stillhidden--my experience was that it came as quite a relief. If you have told the people closest to you maybe you could try not telling people but just not hiding it for a while. I was thinking about it after reading your post and realized it's been forever since I actually told anyone I was gay. People just know, because other people know, or I talk about my husband or... whatever. If it's the actual telling that is awkward for you maybe you just need to start letting people find out on their own for a while. My guess is that, if the cat is already out of the bag and you don't try to hide it, people will figure it out on their own eventually. Sorry it's turning out to be traumatic for you...:icon_sad:
Rather than reply individually I'll just thank you all very much for your replies. It means a lot that people are taking their time to lend advice to me! I'm going to try keeping quiet for about a week while I try to further my comfort with who I am. I think the issue is maybe I haven't fully accepted and loved myself enough yet. So I'm going to try that and see how it goes. OH and to OGS, I am fine with people finding out via others (I've actually told some loose lipped people strategically LOL). I just dislike the conversation that follows somebody finding out. I'm going to take all of your advice and try becoming more comfortable. Thank you all, and good luck with everything. You're all amazing (*hug*)
