Ugh. I hate when people inquire this way..... I thought I was ready to come out to a group of my friends, but then I got this line thrown at me. From a girl I thought I really knew and trusted. Maybe I'm getting too caught up in the wording, but when people ask like they're assuming I'm straight, it really pisses me off. And it doesn't make me want to tell them any time soon. I want to be out, but I don't want people to assume things about me and then make me pick up the pieces when they don't get what they want. I've been thinking of sending her a message on facebook to clarify. I don't think she will care, but she's a bit of a loudmouth and I don't know if she can hold "the juicy life of alex" without telling anyone... yeah. and I've been feeling more attracted to girls lately. Not like... let's get into bed together, but I've been noticing them more. I still like guys insanely more. But I don't want to kid myself if I'm more bi than I thought I was. I need a hug.
(*hug*) Don't worry about the labels so much. And even if you were to be more bi than you thought just tell this girl you aren't straight. That way it answers the question without setting anything definitive.
Me straight? Of Course! And also, my mum's an elf, my feet are actually claws and a recently gave birth to a tribe of smurfs!
Well... to be honest. You can't get too mad at people that assume you are straight. More straight then gay... so.. I assume people are straight until I sense something otherwise. That is just being logical.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she wasn't trying to crush your mood. Don't take it personally. Unless she said that with a certain conniving gleam in her eye.
People just word it that way, because asking someone ARE YOU GAY???!!!?? is a bit blunt. And what if the person wasn't. They could be offended or shocked. (Even if there is no reason to be offended)
Well, it's similar to saying: 'You're GAY!' to a straight guy... There can be much awkwardness... and obviously, there's just as much awkwardness if it's the other way. Now, the other question... Don't rush, take time figuring everything out, it's alright if you notice girls, labels aren't the be all end all=]
*Grabs Alex and embraces him in a ridiculously affectionate and slightly aggressive bear hug* Your "heteronormative" environment doesn't really help the coming out process... at all. That is one of the big reasons why coming out is hard: it can change people's whole perception even though it is really only a little little detail. You have to remember that what they assume doesn't matter because YOU know who you are and YOU are a wonderful gay man responsible for building your life (or "lifestyle" if you really are gay =P) If you want to be out, take the plunge! You deserve it. I don't like that people assume everyone in the world is straight, but with a 95% hetero society there's not much I can really do about that in the near future. They might assume you're straight, but you can show them that you are not, and you are still every bit as wonderful and then some as the "straight you", who was actually gay all along. As far as your identification, just give it time. Don't rush it, you have no reason to. Maybe you are gay or bi or whatever, but in the end once you have determined that would it really have been so horrible to have identified as something else for a while? Just run with your feelings, but don't let feelings become boxes. You will figure it all out in the end, time is the ultimate healer. Good luck honey!
i think u should ask if they are gay just to see they look on their face then have them go home and wonder all night if they look gay.or act it. straight people make me laugh.
^^i wanna try that.... ive been asked that before, (i kinda shruged it off and didnt really say anything) but i wish i had of said 'haha and what if i was?' then i would really know what my friends thought about it...
yea i stopped caring about what my friends thought of me being bi. i lost my best friend of six years but it helped me see that the ones that care the most about you wont care about who you love as long as your happy :]
As before said people are not likely to ask you straight up... Even if they should and its not fair becuase people just presume we're straihgt blah blh blah (change the record please) ...We're a long shot off the perfect society. Think of the whole slavery racism appartide thing... Theres still a lot of racial abuse flying about. And as sad as it is, i don't think its going to change anytime soon. Nor will sexism, or homophobia... Okay racsim and sexism subjects have advance in the last 50 years but now we're the one with the attention. Seeing as those to biggies are out the window. The world needs someone to blame. We're the people. People need to rather deal with, and stop complaining. Or do something about it... www.myranthasended.com/iknowiwentabitofftopic
Knowing there is a gay community in society is also logical though. You can't really be aware that gays exist in society while also thinking that everybody you might does not belong to that particular group. To me that isn't logical. I'm probably biased because I try and keep everything neutral as much as possible, but to me people should really try and be more neutral with their assumptions. Yes, heterosexuality is the majority, but how hard is it to keep sexuality questions neutral? It may seem impossible now but that's because there is nothing to stop people from making these assumptions that people they meet are straight. If there was some stance on not assuming then chances are that over time things would start balancing themselves out better. I can personally get through life without needing to assume something or question somebody. I'm not quite sure why so many others fail to do so.
ARG! the dreaded question! NOOOOOOOOOOO! assuming that peple are straight is pretty ridiculous, i think. ive been asked that by may people, who i do not want to come out to, to which i reply with a very sarcastic "no, im a lesbian. lesley gore and ellen degeneras are my secret lovers. sh, dont tell." another good one is a non-sarcastic and a tad bitchy "no. are you gay? really? i thought near random generalizations like that always worked, as long as there was some sort of stereotypical base." i say facebook her. but wait for when shes online, so you can have a convo. it might be pretty awkward if you say everything, and then she doesnt get it for a couple days, but you think shes just avoiding you. the im thing might work too.
