Help. I'm 13 years old and I'm insanely in love with another girl. I feel that I've been bisexual ever since I could feel for someone, and it's killing me inside. I know I'm young. So please don't scam on that. I think that a lot of boys can be cute and handsome, but the idea of kissing one or doing anything further... disgusts me. I only see myself with girls in the future, but my mom is against me being gay. She does not feel that they should rot and what not, but she is not fully accepting of the idea, especially with me. When we're talking in the car sometimes a conversation about gay marriage or such will come up, and I constantly try to ease her into it. But, not enough for her to suspect, hopefully. It just hurts me when she tells me how ugly gay people are, and that she'd be mortified if my brother turned out gay.. She always talks about my future boyfriends and what I should want from them, but I never know quite what to say because that's not at all how I feel about boys.. I wear a lot of boy clothes, and my mom hates it. She's told me I looked like a lesbian. I don't care if I look like a lesbian, but I do care that my mom is bashing on it. The girl I've fallen in love with hugs me a lot and recently has been trying to hold my hand, and I'm never sure how to react because I feel like she'll think I love her, only because I do. And I'm scared of this because of conversations I've heard from others... I know I'm young, but I'm just scared that this is how it's going to be in the future, and that I'll fall in love with girls, but they'll never like me back. I have dreams about it all the time and I can no longer convince myself that I am straight. I'd rather no one know till later in my life, but I don't know when or how. I don't want anyone to act different around me. I'm constantly suppressing my feelings. I'm scared. How do I could I come out and when? and do girls think I like them when I act affectionate?
From my own observations, girls act very affectionate to each other without someone screaming they are gay, though it's sadly different if you were a guy. As to how to come out and when, I honestly can't say; that is something you have to decide on. But I can say that what you feel about that girl probably isn't love, but a crush, which are two very different things. In my opinion, I think it's best to wait out your feelings, which will only either get stronger, or weaker, though on some occasions they will stay the same. Try to fined out who you are as time goes on, and as you said many times yourself, you are young. Don't rush the feelings you have, and don't lie to yourself, in either direction. I know that I started suspecting who I am when I was 13, and it wasn't until just recently that I've come to terms with it, and I'm 17 now. Also, instead of trying to suppress your feelings, try to accept them, but don't let them get out of hand. Only you can know your own mind, after all.
