I suspect my boyfriends gay

I think he is gay and you need to break up with him.

 

He sounds gay to me, although I could be wrong. If so, you guys should break up because it's not fair to you

 

Dont go on if he is gay.. You will only get hurt sooner or later

 

I think the way he's acting during sex he's probably gay

 

I think he needs a friend and some freedom at the moment.

 

definitely sounds gay. who knows, he might be experimenting sexually at the moment to see what he really wants, and for that i think you should give him the space you need. you don't need to force yourself on a relationship like this if the guy isn't giving you what you want.

 

You sound like an awesome friend. Just because he's gay doesn't mean you guys can't stay friends. Hopefully you guys still are close after you guys break up. I'd explain to him that if he's gay he needs to tell you and that you'll still be friends no matter what and that you're there for him.

On a sidenote, welcome to EC.

 

You should express that you dont feel like he is being honest, and possibly break up with him. I am so sorry!

 

Whether he is gay or not does not really matter. You already have some concerns about the relationship and are not trusting him. That is probably enough to slow the relationship down or break it off. If he is gay, he will appreciate you being a friend of support, but you will probably need to wait on him to come out if he is closeted at the moment.

 

The craigslist thing is the biggest redflag here. The other assumptions could just be lack of sex drive, but considering he's looking to experiment, I'd be wary. Talk to him.

 

Dump him!

 

He sounds like a bisexual afraid to make commitments and willing to have affairs while with someone. I'd leave him in my opinion.

 

I'd dump him if I were you, if he's responding to those ads it means he's not just gay, but he's cheating on you.

 

Yeah, I don't really get all this leaping to conclusions that he's definitely gay. Sounds like a mixed bag to me. It would seem he's at least in a questioning stage, and likely into men but that doesn't preclude bisexuality.


In the end, only he is going to be able to know for sure - and he'll have to come to a conclusion in questioning first. If you're really interested in continuing with him, you can try to talk to him about it, but there's no guarantee he's ready for that.

If you really think he is cheating on you or engaging in any of those flirting/escorts/craiglist stuff.... well really, even without that, feel no obligation to stay with him. You have none. He'll figure it out, in his own time. Besides, this applies:

regardless of whether he's gay, straight, or bisexual. If he's not getting that done for you, his orientation isn't even relevant.





Beyond that I just wanted to point out that things like reading porn and liking fashion have no bearing on orientation... The guy living next to me in my apartment is 100% straight (oh the awful noises I've heard in the night, coming from that room), yet destroys our living area with the stink of hair product and perfume, dresses flamboyantly, clearly uses product for his skin, etc. Meanwhile I'm the one who likes sleeping with guys and I love sports, keep my hair and beard very unkempt, couldn't give a **** about clothing, listen to black metal, etc. etc. No bearing on orientation.

The other stuff could easily be lack of sex drive. I suspect I'd be relatively similar in any relationship.




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Edit: I'm not sure on the idea of giving him a heads up. I'm probably not the right person to ask but maybe only if he asks for it?

 

He really does sound like he's gay.

Does he have that flamboyant voice that a lot of other gay guys have?

Does he have many older brothers? Studies show guys are more likely to be gay if they have more older brothers. (I have 2 older brothers).

How does he respond to the topic of homosexuality? Some closeted gays tend to be REALLY anti-gay, and some may be REALLY pro-gay. Try to observe how he responds and use your best judgement.



When all is said it done, make sure you don't rush into the talk about his sexual orientation. Practice what you're going to say before you say it. Don't make him feel like his sexual orientation is a bad thing, make it known that you're ready to hear what he has to say. Always remember, even if he does admit to being gay, be prepared for a break-up, but also be prepared to make a friend. You may lose your boyfriend, but you can also win a great friend who isn't after you for sex or constantly hits on you. Heck, maybe you can even help hook him up with a boyfriend and he can return the favor some day for you! If he comes out as bi, just be cautious on how he acts with you in the future. If he really does not give you the attention you want, it may of very well been a lie, or he really just isn't interested in you sexually. Don't take it personal though, just remember that he is struggling just as much as you are right now.

I hope this helps.