Well, I'm 19, out of high school, and at a point where I am wondering where my life is going. See, the thing is, I know what my goals are, I know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I need help getting there. Career wise, I want to teach either Math or Physics on a secondary, and eventually post secondary level. I want to be in a possition to teach people, to change there lives. To be a role model, an example to them. Right now tho, my life seems to be at a standstill... I want to find someone to spend the resto of my life with. I'm not a fan of open relationships. I want to find a long term, commited monogomous relationship. By long term, I mean together forever, threw the good and bad, together untill we die. I don't know if I will ever have children. I mean maybe one day. I don't know tho, that I will leave to be a mystery in my lifes ambitions, but at this point in my life this just seems like wishful thinking. I want to travel, being a teacher would leave alot of time to do so. I want to see the world, I want to be able to go out and help people in need. When I mean I want to see the world, I don't mean I want to go see all the tourist attractions, and beautiful things...Thats part of it, I want to see people. I want to see real lives. I want to touch them, if they are in need, I want to comfort them. I want to touch lives. Sure I would love to see Pyramids in Egypt, but I would also love to feed a child in Etheopia. I would love to go see the Rain forest in South America, but I would Also love to help manually help build school for children who would not have been able to seek education otherwise... As a Hobbiest I would like to contunue in music. I love playing the Viola. Messing around and the Guitar and Bass is fun. I would also like to Learn Piano, cello, and violin. Its easier than it sound especially with SmartMusic.com I want to be able to hold onto the Artistic Expression, and Emotional Relief the music brings me. It sooths me it calms my soul. I want to live a life full of Love. I was once told Love is a Choice. Sure there is an emotion attatched to it, But even when the emotion isn't right there, you still can still love them out of choice to love them. There are different kinds of love, but I have made a Choice. To love everyone around me. Everyone I meet. No matter what they look like, or act like. No matter if they share my beliefs, or condem me for them. You may say, "Wow, he seems to have it pretty planned out." I told you I did. Yet like It all seems like wishful thinking. Looking my my lifes ambitions seem so simple, but so complex at the same time. Everything looks accessable to me, but I don't no how access it. I dont know how to get my life rolling. I have faith that I can and will achieve this...but it takes more than faith. It takes insentive, on my part. I need Guidance, and wisdom. I know my ambitions don't seem all that ambitous. Maybe they aren't. I don't need to live a life of extravagence. I feel like I have had a wounderful life thus far. I'm greatful for every thing I have gone threw, Everything that has molded me into what I am today. The good and the bad. I'm even happy about the questionable bits that I dont neccesarily remember, but made a subtle impact on my life. Well I dont know, I guess I'm not that all that mixed up after all. Sure I'm still not sure how I'm going to achive this, But I know where I am going. Thats half the battle, and the Journey, I am ready to take. Writing this I have realized I dont want to know all of the Journey I will take. I'm ready to step forward, and begin my life. My eye forever on the horizon, looking forward, remembering the past, learning from it. Not dwelling on it, not wishing for something that something different to have happend. Living life a Day at a time, not stagnant, but forever moving forward. I dont need to make millions of dollars to make a difference in the world. But I can make a Difference one day at a time.
It sounds like you've got your head on tight. You've got your goals. So now you need a plan to try to achieve them. Let's take the simplest one first - teaching. Not that achieving that is simple, necessarily - it's just a lot more straightforward than some of the other things you discuss. Do you want to teach in Georgia? Around where you live now? Go online and look up some info. What sort of education/training do you need in order to teach in those school districts? Is there a community college nearby that offers this training? How much will it cost? How long will it take? How much time and effort will it take on an average week? What sorts of jobs might you take while you're getting the training - anything available that might help you get a teaching job on the other end? Are there internships available? Getting answers to these questions will help you set a plan of action. Do note that sometimes, you're going to need to make decisions between your goals. Most teachers don't make a lot of money, especially at first. Because of that, you may not be able to travel as much as you'd like. This doesn't mean you have to abandon your dreams of travel. It just means you have to plan for them just as completely as you plan for your education. If travel is more important to you right now than education - especially "travel with a purpose" - then perhaps look into volunteer groups such as the Peace Corps. Again, it'll mean putting the education on hold for a bit - part of that priorities thing - but it may prove more beneficial in the long run. Don't let the scope of your dreams freeze you into not going after them. Start planning, start doing. And as one person astutely pointed out, "Life is what happens during the time you're reaching for your goals." Don't neglect to enjoy the journey. Lex
I think you could travel abroad while seeking your teaching degree. Lots of colleges will send students to different countries to do student teaching. You could get that experience of working with poor children while also receiving your education. I think its great that you have these goals at 19 years of age. Alot of young people your age are only thinking about the next party. (*hug*)
Thanks... This reminds me of a quote from Boy Culture lol...."Why is it that gay guys alway feel 40 at 18." Seriously tho. Thanks for the advice. The Idea of traveling abroad while in college has always appealed to me. I wanted to put off more personla travel untill after School. I want to get certified, and teach on the highschool level, while getting my masters and eventually doctorit, so I can teach on a post-secondary level. I dont know tho. I may just get a doctorite but stay on the Highschool level...I mean I want to help give people's life direction, I think that push in the right direction is needed more in highschool. Most of the time in by college your headed in the right direction, especially if you had a good push in highschool. I really dont plan on living an extravagent lifestyle... Altho i know its going to be a HUGE change from how I live now... I have lived in a upper middle class environment all my life...Well all that I can remember. But I can make it work. Its worth it to be able to be a part of peoples lives...To influence people in the amazing way I was influence by some of my teachers. I don't plan on having millions of dollars. Money isnt the center of my priorities, Sure it helps to have money to get what I want done to be done. Well all I need now is people to bug me and make sure I'm staying on track lol.
>>>Why is it that gay guys alway feel 40? Well, I'm not quite 40, but I can tell you - I'm starting to feel 18. Lex
I would like one too. Whenever I think I've found one, it falls apart due to lack of communication. I hope you have better luck.
Well, another thing. I need advice about it comeing out to my parents. My dad I really don't care about coming out to... If I new for sure it wouldnt get back to my mom befor I was ready I would tell him. It would be just like telling a friend for him. I mean if he doesn't accept it, ok, I can move on and find new friends. He hasn't been much of an influence in my Life. I mean he only started to come around when I was about 13 or so. Even then I may talk to him 2 or 3 times a month, and see him every 6 or so months... My mom on the other hand I am still dependent on. I don't want to take any chances. It isn't fear that she wont accept me. Honestly I really doubt she wouldn't accept me eventually. But I don't want her having to work that out while my future is still dependent on her. I'm doing what I can to get a job, save up, and move out. But untill then I think it would be best not to tell her. Its funny. I came out to some people at church camp, Church camp of all places, and the people I told took it well. I mean as well as I could have expected from them. They did the whole, I still accept you and love you, altho i dont completely agree with the lifestyle type things. But thats way better than YOUR GAY!!!! BURN IN HELL!!! responces, which i have not had any of actually. So thats cool. Its weird, normally I take a more passive route about my sexual orientation. If they ask I tell, if they dont ask normally I dont tell, usually. The only really bad experiance I had with my sexuality was in Highschool, when I told this one guy i liked him, and it got around. Then a little while after that there were some people who messed with me. It only lasted 2 Days tho. It was a group of 4 guys, I was in 11th grade i think, and i was walking down the hall, and someone smacked me in the back of the head, i turned around the first day, and didnt know who it was. The second day they did it, I turned around, Cussed him and his friends out, and they acted like they where going to do something. But I told them I don't give a fuck, they mess with me, and I'll fight them all at once. I was holding my AP Chem book ready to swing it and crack one of them over the side of the head with the spine of the book. I guess something in my eyes told them i wasnt messing around. I mean I'm about 6'1" wide shoulders, and strong. I guess they thought since I was gay they could mess with me, but I set them striaght quick lol. It was the only time anyone ever called me anything derogitory in that sence. Anyways. I have had a relatively good life... I came out to a new person yesterday even lol. But I dont know. Its wierd... I dont feel like i live a double life. I'm honest with myself about who i am, and honest with others too... Even tho people assume im striaght, well untill i start hitting on them anyways lol. But seriously tho. I don't hide my sexuality, people make assumptions, and I drop alot of hints. I still have yet to come across someone who really has a problem with me being Gay...But then again by brother is left out of the loop lol. I dont know what or how to tell him either. I shy away from it. Me and my brother dont have a great relationship. Its funny, me and him are complete oposites. I have been greatful for everything I have been given in my life. He has become selfish and spoiled, always expecting more, and not thankful for what he's got. I mean my mom has bought him a jeep, a 2007 scion TC and a 67" Mustang and he still treats her like crap... I dont know why he acts like that...I never acted like that, and I'm his older brother. I was born in May, at 1 30 inthe morning, and he was born in november at 1 30 in the afternoon 18 months later lol. Its fun how our personalities are as opposite as our birthdays. He's always full of anger, and violent. I'm slow to anger... He's my hieght, similar bone structure, about 215 lbs, mostly muscle and i cant tell you how many fist fights we have been in. Because he knows how to push my buttons, He doesnt really do anything to me tho. We get into fight because I snap on him about how he treat my mom, and my grandparents. I'm pretty sure it's piss him off if he knew I was gay, Especially knowing that I've kicked his ass on more than one occassion. I dont know tho. I have so much drama in my family as it is. I spend most of my time soothing others, and listening to them. I've heard the problems of all of the adults in this house, and I've given them advice lol. Its sort of a relief to be able to talk to people about me here on EC. I've had conversations with my Aunt, My Uncle, My Mother...I talk to her alot, and even my Grandmother and Grandfather. I guess that gave me what sence of maturity I have. To be able to have Adult, of all ages open up to me. I guess i have been granted wisdom beyound my years. I've learned to listen. I've learned from other people's mistakes, and helped them threw those mistakes. I guess its one of the reasons I feel 40 at 18 lol. I don't feel burdend by them tho. I feel blessed that they can talk to me about such things. Is it selfish not to tell them I am gay, with them being so open to me. I could only hope that they are as understanding towards me as i have been towards them. Again tho. I dont think im ready for it quite yet. Is not telling the same as lieing about it? I dont feel like I'm living a life of denial. I want to be open with them eventually. But I want to be away from that dependance I have on them. Is that Wrong?
