So my mom was going on about how "I don't know her" and how I "shouldn't bottle things up" (not regarding anything specific, just in general). I said "mom, you're so judgemental. That's why I don't tell you some things". She said "why live that way? I just say what I have to say and I don't care what people think. You either like me or you don't". I then said "but you're my mom." The conversation then ended. While my sister (the one that I came out to) and my mom were in the car, she asked my sister if she thought that I was gay. My sister said that she resounded by saying "I don't know. He doesn't talk much about girls". She then said that my mom responded by saying "I know. That's the thing. I never thought my son would turn out this way (not about being gay, but about not having a significant other, being "selfish" and "cold". She said to my sister how I used to be so quiet and sweet). My sister just told me this. She ended with her saying that I should come out to my mom today. I kind of want to but I'm SOOOOO SCARED about doing so. What do y'all think? Did my mom bring all this up because she kind of knows that I'm gay, and she wants me to just come out and say it? Should I come out to her today? As I said before, I kind of want to, and I think that conversation would serve as a great segue to do so, but I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND TO UTTER THE WORDS!!! :bang:
The way I read the conversation you've practically been given an engraved invitation. It seems very clear to me that it would go well and that your mother would view it as a positive thing at this point. I think you should tell her and I think you should do it now.
Fair disclosure: I'm 27 and haven't been able to drum up the courage to come out to my parents and I probably never will. I would tell them if they asked though and that's something I desperately want them to do. I know how hypocritical it is for me to say this, but do it. Your mom obviously has very strong suspicions and if she's more bothered by you not having a significant other than potentially being gay I think it's worth taking the leap and getting the awkward conversation over with. While I can't say for sure because I haven't done it, I imagine your life will become exponentially better once you do this. Yeah, there's still the challenge of actually finding the right person and chances are there will be some heartbreak involved at some point, but after dealing with the stress of being closeted for so long having to deal with pretty much any other problem sounds amazing at this point. Take a chance on yourself and give yourself the opportunity to really be yourself and live your life in the way that will make you happy. Your sister knows and your mom basically knows -- all you have to do is acknowledge that once and that will open up a whole new world. Good luck -- I really hope you find the strength to make this happen.
This plus what you've said in your other thread about your mom saying it's your life to live and that it's not choosing a partner over choosing your family really just screams that your mother wants you to talk to her about this. You were the one that used the female pronoun in the "forbidden lover" conversation, but considering she has such strong suspicions of you being gay I doubt that's the way she meant it. It seems she has more issue with you being distant and private than being gay, and coming out to her may be a way to open the lines of communication and begin a closer relationship with her. I really think you should tell her.
This seems to be causing you a lot of stress, I bet if you just say it you will feel better in no time, your mother sounds like a accepting person and seems that she sees a possibility of you being gay, but if you can't say it don't try to make yourself say it... do it when you are comfortable.
I'm literally shaking right now. I SOOOO want to tell her right this moment, but it's like a mystical force is holding the words on the tip of my tongue from coming out of my mouth. I'm spbeyond stressed, anxious, and nervous right now. I think you're all right, but if don't know how to spit it out. @TheStormInside you're so right. I used the pronoun "she", not my mother. But I don't know how she would have reacted I kept the conversation gender neutral (by saying "person" instead of "she". I was going to do this, but in thought it would have been a dead giveaway). WOW. This was so hard to type. I'm physically shaking right now.
This is why I have been proactive about getting other relatives on my side. You need a plan B and C if things go south. Likely they won't, but you don't know. I was shaking so bad when I typed out to my cousin in TX. I likely will be shaking in front of my parents when I come out to them in about a month(I don't live with them). I really do get it.
Your parents already know. Nothing is going to change, this weight will always be there, unless you just say "I'm gay".
Well, I JUST finished talking to my mom! I DID IT! I came out! She took it well! I just posted a thread about it! Thanks again everyone for helping me out here! I feel GREAT right now.
Congratulations x 1000000000000 A weight must be lifted off your shoulders! You probably feel amazing
I'm so happy for you, man! I knew you could do it! Do you feel better now? So proud of you! (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
