Hello, So I'm currently coming to terms with who I am, acceptance is something I'm struggling with. What's making that even more difficult though is that I keep going through patches, days or weeks, where I think "maybe I'm not?" then I'll go through a day where I'm like "no,definitely am". I tend to be more sure I am gay when I'm alone with my thoughts. Then I worry that I'm over thinking it and working myself into believing I am when perhaps the doubts are true? It's all very confusing and I don't know what to think. I'm not ready to come out yet, cos quite frankly I don't know if I am, it keeps changing. Anyone else had to deal with this?
Well, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that everybody is more assured of their orientation in private as they don't have the stress of social interactions and having to "fit in" on their mind. Even if you are or aren't homosexual, how does that affect you? You don't need to have a single label define you. You love who you love and so you don't have to label yourself as "Choice A" and completely shun all other options there could have been if you had chosen "Choice B." Just take it day by day and see how you feel.
You don't have to come out... So keep that in mind... Some people aren't ready to do so and it might take a while even if you are... Take all the time you need to find your path, once you do that, admit it to yourself... Then once you do that, work up the courage to tell others.... But take your time...
I went through this when i was questioning my sexuality still do in fact not everyone is ready to come out just yet just take your time.
Some people like labelling and naming things, I get that. It helps to simplify complex things. That's why humans have named and categorised nearly everything in nature. Perhaps, when you're feeling gay... try accepting it... say "I'm gay, and that's okay" and when you're feeling "not gay" ... accept that too... say "I don't know what my sexuality is today, and that's okay" Stop fighting and resisting what you're feeling if you can. There's nothing wrong with feeling or thinking differently at different times or changing your mind. If it's all inside you and you're not telling anyone, you've got no one to answer to, you can change your mind as much as you want and it won't hurt anyone. We always put pressure on ourselves to change things that don't need to be changed, and maybe your indecisiveness is one of those things. Just an idea anyway. Peace be with you.
Hey! I am here to assure you that questioning yourself is totally normal and okay. The decision of whether or not to come out is life changing. So, naturally, as with ANY life changing decision, you will have second thoughts! That's just your brain adjusting to such a big change. Coming out is one of the scariest things one can face, and having doubts is a totally normal part of a big change. I, for one, faced this a lot around the time I came out, and a little while after as well. Some days I have really scary thoughts, like "Is this what I really want for myself?" or, my personal favorite, "What if I had never told anyone? Could I live happily in the closet?" Just think, though. Would you ever voluntarily put yourself through this? If you were 100% straight, would you even be asking these questions? So yeah having doubts is Not Fun but hey, when you've adjusted to the idea, I'm sure things will be much better! Hang in there.
I did this for years but now that I've accepted who I am and looking back on those thoughts, deep down I always knew I was gay, even when I was telling myself I wasn't. I would always watch straight porn to reassure myself that I wasn't gay even though when I watch gay porn it was always WAY more exciting. Also another thing was I looked back on all my past sexual experiences and realized that I was never fully excited having sex with a girl and could never reach climax, although I still enjoy a women's naked body which was the thing that probably confused me the most, although I wouldn't consider myself bi sexual
